Page 107 of Pucking Strong

“Clams?”

I snort. With how good his English is, sometimes I forget that it’s not Henrik’s first language. “All I’m saying is that it’s possible. Maybe the way Jake is with Caleb is the way you are with all people. It’s not that you can’t enjoy physical intimacy—you just haven’t found the right person who speaks your language.”

He’s quiet for a minute, still considering.

Taking a risk, I lean in a little closer. “Can I ask … back in theparking garage, you seemed like you wanted to kiss me. Was that … I mean, is there a chance you were feeling something for me then?”

“I don’t know what I was feeling,” he admits. “Angry, maybe? Ashamed. Defensive.”

“It makes sense,” I murmur, hiding the disappointment from my tone. “My mom had just tried to rip you a new asshole.”

He leans to the side, propping his arm on the car door. “I’m not good at expressing myself. You already know that. And I don’t like feeling pulled by my emotions. Any emotion—anger, lust, fear, embarrassment. I don’t like …” He sighs, sinking into silence.

“Losing control,” I finish for him.

He nods.

“Henrik, I’m sorry.”

He glances my way. “Why are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry if I’ve been adding to your stress about all this. You’ve got enough on your plate. You don’t need my drama added to it.”

“You’re not the problem.”

“I am, though. Or I’m part of it. Because you’re right, I’m a super passionate person. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I just feel every feeling as loud as I can all the time. And I love sex. I love physical intimacy, and I love being in love. As a double Pisces with Leo rising, I was basically hardwired to be an emotional mess. So, I’m sorry. For sending mixed signals. For stressing you out. For letting my emotions get the better of me until you felt like you were the one spinning out of control.”

Glancing his way, I smile, desperate to do something to ease this tension. “But in my defense, you are exceptionally good looking.”

The hint of a smile crosses his face. “It feels strange for me to apologize for that.”

I laugh. “Don’t apologize. Own it. Henrik, you’re so gorgeous, I wanna cry myself to sleep at night.”

He chuckles. “Well, thank you.”

“I’m serious. You in that suit? Stretched out in the front seat of this sexy little sports car like you’re shooting a damn cologne commercial? It’s the stuff of my wildest fantasies. But that’smyproblem,” I quickly add. “Not yours. And I’m gonna do my best to cool it.You’ve set your limits, and I’m going to respect them. Watch and see, I’m gonna be the most platonic fake husband you’ve ever had.”

Now he really smiles. It brushes the soft freckles of his cheeks and lights up his eyes. He reaches over and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you, Teddy. Truly. For everything. I don’t know where I’d be without your kindness to me.”

I shrug, slipping my hand away. “Probably upstairs already, half asleep in your bathtub with some ancient history podcast playing too loud over the speakers.”

He chuckles. “Fair enough.”

I open my car door and step out into the quiet garage. Henrik follows. He keeps following me, all the way to the elevator and up into our apartment. Where we live. Together. Just like Bert and Ernie. Only they had separate beds, right?

Well, call me irrational if you want. Call me crazy. Call me a glutton for punishment. But our first rule is already broken. If I have my way, it’s gonna stay fucking broken. Henrik and I may be husbands who are just friends, but that man is gonna keep sleeping in my bed.

As soon as Hanna is dismissed for the night, he returns to the kitchen, feet shuffling with fatigue. I was going to draw him a bath and bring him a beer, but I think we’re too far past that now. “Go lie down,” I say, nodding towards my bedroom. “I’ll bring you a protein shake and the JetBoots.”

With a grateful nod, he shuffles away, not even questioning my command. Because my mom is wrong. Henrikdoeswant me. He may not want my dick. That’s too much for him right now, and that’s fine. But he wants me. He wants my comfort. He wants my support, my friendship, my advice.

And for now, that’s enough.

In fact, it’s oddly satisfying. Before now, sex has always been my crutch. I use it to soothe, and mask, and deflect. I use it to hide my deeper relationship problems. I mean, who has problems when you have orgasms, right?

But this is a new era. With Henrik, I get to be a whole new Teddy. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m curious to see where it will lead.

“Okay, and does this hurt?” I gently massage the side of Perry’s knee with my thumb.

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