Page 104 of Pucking Strong

“What do you mean?”

I drop his arms and step back, heart racing. “What I mean is … well, where’s your defender, huh? I watched you out on that ice tonight. Your shining moment? Your big score of the game? You did it alone. Not one person from your team was there for you, Henrik. They were all scrambling just to catch up. You were on your own. You are always all on your own. You take care of everyone and everything. Karro has you, and now she has me. But where’syourdefender?”

Silence stretches between us before he finally just shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

With a growl of frustration, I step in, cupping his bearded face with my hands. “I’m standing right in front of you, asshole. Do you even see me?Lookat me, Henrik.”

His sad blue eyes lock on me, and I feel it, this magnetic thing we have. My mother was right. I was a fool to try to deny it. There’s no holding this back. It’s like part of me has been lost and looking for this man my whole life. With Henrik, I am found.

I hold his gaze, determination burning through me. To be seen by him. To finally be heard. God, to be wanted. “You seem to have fundamentally misunderstood the nature of our arrangement. So let me enlighten you. Your job is to take care of everyone else. And my mama’s right. You’re drowning, Henrik. So many people are making demands of you, dragging you down—your parents, Karro, her doctors, the team, your agent, your sponsors. The list just keeps getting longer. I see how hard you work for them. I see how they pull at you, how they need you.”

I step in closer, daring him to look away. “But I am not on that fucking list. Do you hear me? Six years ago, yes, you pulled me away from that speeding truck. But that’s the only time you get to save me. Because you’re on my list now. You’remine, Henrik. And I’ll be damned if I let anyone, my own mother included, make you think you’re not worth saving—”

I’m gasping out a breath as Henrik pushes me back against the side of the Porsche. His hands are on my hips, possessive and firm. My hands still cup his face, thumbs brushing over the soft hair ofhis beard. Our faces are inches apart. I can feel his breath warm against my lips.

Oh god, he’s gonna kiss me.

Henrik Karlsson isfinallygoing to kiss me.

He holds me in this eternal moment of waiting, our breathing shallow, chests rising and falling in unison. His hands hold me pinned to the car as he crowds my space, but he doesn’t press himself against me. I wait until I can’t bear it another second. Then I break, asking in a whisper, “What are you doing?”

He blinks, then swallows, as if coming back to his body. Then his gaze is trailing down from my eyes to my parted lips. “Not breaking any more of your rules.”

My mind hums as I try to understand. Then I groan as he leans away. Goddamn it, he’s talking about my “no kissing” rule.Fuck.I drop my hands to his shoulders, trying to keep him close, desperate to feel the weight of him pinning me to the side of this sports car. At this point, I’m beyond starving for the taste of his lips on mine. “Break it,” I beg. “Henrik, it’s okay. I want you to—”

But he’s pulling away. He’s shutting off, locking down. The moment is over. I’ve lost him, and now I wanna die. Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun. I got a taste of his fire, and now I’m falling, wings melted, tumbling through the air.

“We’re both just upset,” he says in that reasoned tone. “Emotions are high. But you made your rules with deliberate care. And I made a vow I’d not break them—”

“We’re already breaking them,” I cry, tears of frustration stinging my eyes. I swear I’ll never forgive myself for falling for a Capricorn. “You slept in my bed last night. It was my understanding we were doing it again tonight. Because youwantto be on my list. You want me to comfort you. You want to come home to me, remember?”

“I do,” he admits.

“Well, the home you want isn’t the lifeless apartment we share—it’sme.” I press both hands to my chest. “It’s my chaos and my moods and my body. You want me, Henrik. I know you do. And it’s okay that I give you comfort. So let me. In all the ways I can, I want you to let me.”

He closes his eyes, wincing as if my words are hurting him. “I can’t.”

“Will you give me one good reason?”

He considers for a moment. Finally, he glances my way, suddenly looking almost nervous. “Teddy, I know what you want from me. I see the way you look at me. You want our relationship to have a physical component. It’s your rule to break, but you’re the one who wants a kiss … Am I right?”

I cross my arms in this sparkly WAG jacket, branded with his number on my arms and back. “So what if I do? Just a moment ago, you did too. It’s only natural for two people sharing a life to share intimacies as well. When they have the kind of chemistry we have, it’s practically inevitable.”

“I can’t be with you in that way, Teddy.”

I hold my breath, daring to ask the question sitting like a rock in my chest. “Because you’re not attracted to men … or because you’re just not attracted to me?”

Holding my gaze, he offers me a weak smile. “Because I’m not attracted to anyone.”

“What does that even mean?”

He shrugs, sadness filling his eyes. “I’m broken, Teddy. Stay with me long enough, and I fear I’ll break you too.”

Henrik keeps his eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel as he drives us in the direction of the apartment. There’s a low hum in my ears as I watch the streetlights flash overhead. The memory of getting in the car already feels hazy. I know Henrik opened my door for me. Then he was in too. Then the engine purred to life. He pulled us out of the garage, waving to the parking attendant.

Just down the street from the arena, we pass a row of bustling bars and clubs. The thumping bass of the music creates a discordant buzzing in my chest. Henrik slows the car to a stop at a red light. The Mexican restaurant on the corner is overflowing with late-night diners. Some of them are wearing Rays hockey jerseys.

The light changes, and the Porsche glides forward.

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