Page 46 of Pucking Strong

My heart skips a beat as I grab Henrik’s hand. “Oh god, did the judge decide already?”

Elin nods. “Given the unconventional circumstances of your case, we managed to get the decision expedited. The welfare court ruled this morning.”

I squeeze Henrik’s hand tight, sending up every good thought and prayer to the high heavens. “Just tell us.”

She spares us the torture of more waiting. “You were both awarded temporary custody of Karolina Karlsson.”

All the air leaves my chest on a sharp exhale. “Oh, thank god.” I grab his arm, even as I keep squeezing his hand. “Hen, you did it. Youwon.”

Henrik presses his free hand to his chest, eyes shut tight as he mutters what sounds like a prayer. Then he looks to me, tears in his eyes. “I really thought I was going to lose her.”

I wrap my arm around his waist, keeping him from sinking to the floor. “She’s yours,” I assure him. “She’s coming home with you.”

“I’ve emailed you the judge’s ruling,” Elin goes on. “And I have a copy here that you both must sign.”

I go still. “Wait, I have to sign something?”

Elin levels her icy-blue stare at me. “Of course. Henrik’s temporary custody is conditional. You are now part of those conditions.”

My heart freaking stops. “What?”

“I told you to consider carefully what you were doing,” she replies. “The judge only approved this because of you, Teddy. She appreciated your expertise in injury rehabilitation and your record of working with children.”

Henrik stiffens. “I don’t understand. Is the court awarding custody of Karolina to me or to Teddy?”

Elin purses her lips. “They’re awarding custody tobothof you. As legal partners, you will share the duties of raising this child, will you not? You will both be her surrogate fathers. And this is only temporary. You’ll have to complete the adoption process before the court will consider making it permanent.”

I sink back, my shoulders hitting the wall as I drop Henrik’s hand. For the thousandth time in the last three days, the thought flashes like a bright neon sign inside my mind: We didnotthink this through.

Now I’m Karolina’s father? I was doing this just as a friend thing. Henrik will be the one to love her and care for her, not me. I was just gonna help out. You know, teach her some PT exercises, pick her up from school, watch movies together, make mac and cheese, maybe braid her hair …

Which are all things a parent would do.

Oh god, I think I’m gonna be sick. Why are they looking at me?

Henrik’s brows are knit with concern as he reaches for me. “Teddy …”

I pull away from him. “Don’t.”

Elin’s frown deepens. “You see now the seriousness of your situation. This isn’t a game. There is no winning. There is only Karolina and what’s best for her. The two of you now hold the fate of a young girl in your hands. Henrik, so long as you’re playing professional hockey, traveling as much as you do, the court’s opinion is clear: If Teddy walks away, they’ll likely reconsider your custody. For now, as her next of kin, you are approved as her temporary guardian, contingent on Teddy living in the home to assist with her rehabilitation.”

Oh, fucking fuck. This cannot be happening. I’m now the glue of this whole operation?

“The court has further ordered that your offseasons be spent here in Sweden,” she goes on. “This is to ensure that there is no detrimental loss of culture or language for Karolina. Will you agree to this term?”

Henrik nods. “Of course. I always come home for the summers anyway. Christmas too, if I can manage it.”

Where the hell does that leave me? Am I now committing to spending allmysummers in Sweden until Karolina turns eighteen? I have a job. I have sisters and niblets and friends. I have my own travel I want to do. I want to hike across Southeast Asia. I want to go to Burning Man. My god, can you imagine Henrik at Burning Man, wearing nothing but leather chaps and a cropped lace top?

Elin pulls out the folder containing the court’s custody settlement, completely oblivious to my freak-out. “So long as you providethe court with proof of her medical insurance and enrollment in an American school, she is cleared to travel with you back to America. As we’ve already discussed, there will be a series of in-home placement reviews as the adoption process moves forward. I’ll send you both a schedule for the visits when I have them.”

Henrik takes the paperwork and a pen from her. “Teddy, turn around.”

I feel like I’m having one of those cartoon out-of-body experiences. Like, I’m here, but also I’m floating somewhere near the ceiling. I turn, and Henrik uses my back to sign the paperwork. Thecustodypaperwork. For a child. Because apparently, we’re both becoming fathers today. Surrogate fathers, but still, the wordfatheris definitely in there.

He taps my shoulder, and I turn. Then he hands me the papers and the pen.

“Sign where you see your name,” Elin directs, pointing to the form.

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