Page 206 of Pucking Around

“He loves you, Jake.”

I shake my head. “No, he’s so damn hard to read.”

“Jake,listento me,” she says, voice firm. “Caleb Sanford is in love with you. Ask him and he’ll tell you.”

“I don’t deserve it,” I whisper. “I don’t deserve the good things that happen to me—”

“Jake,stop—”

“He deserved it more,” I say at last, one tear falling as my deepest truth spills out. “He was better, faster, stronger—”

“Jake—”

“I don’t get to have it all, Amy. That’s not the way life fucking works. We’re not meant to have all our dreams come true. It’s too easy. Too unfair.”

“So…what?” she huffs, clearly fed up with my bullshit pity party. “You’re just going to punish yourself, and Caleb in the process? One shitty thing happens, and now you’re going to resign yourself to a lifetime of almost-happiness? That’s idiotic, Jake. And it’s wholly unfair to Caleb.Talkto him. Do it today. Put a period at the end of this awful chapter and turn the page.”

I sigh, pulling into my assigned spot in the parking garage, and cut the engine. I sit there, staring at the grey concrete pylon in front of my car. “Why are you so fucking smart?”

“Because I resorbed half your brain cells in the womb.”

I snort, shaking my head. “That’s not how science works.”

“How would you know, dummy? You whack a piece of rubber with a stick for a living.”

I laugh. “Yeah, big robot brain scientist girl can’t even heat up a Hot Pocket.”

“That happened exactly once and that microwave was on the fritz,” she counters with an indignant huff.

We sit in silence for another minute, just sharing the call waves.

“I love you, Amy,” I murmur. “I miss you.”

“Jake, you have no idea. Send me pictures more often, yeah? And I want to video chat with your new girl soon. And I want to meet the goalie properly too.”

“Come home,” I say, sitting forward, one arm folded over top of my steering wheel. “I’ll buy the tickets. Do whatever you need to do on your end, just…I need to see you. I need you to meet Rachel.”

“Jake,” she sighs, ready to tell me no.

“What we’re about to do is really fucking scary, Amy,” I say. “Mom and dad won’t get it and—fuck—” I sigh, dropping my forehead to my arm. “I’m afraid. I’m talking a big game, but I don’t want things to change with the people I care about. Please don’t shut me out.”

“Jake,never,” she says. “Are you listening to me? There is nothing you could do that would ever have me walk away from you. Not least of which is love the people you were destined to love. If they’re your family now, then they’re my family too.”

I smile, feeling a little lightness in my chest. “She’s a fraternal twin too.”

Amy laughs. “Oh god, of course, she is. Am I gonna hate her?”

I consider for a minute. “Hmm…I mean, you’re both scientists…you both like dogs and yoga.”

“All sounds good so far.”

I huff, remembering the night we met. “She’s a zodiac girl.”

“Well, shit,” Amy mutters. “It’s not a capital offense, I guess. But if she goes trying to compare our moon signs, I’m reserving the right to tit punch her.”

“I can’t let you harm the tits,” I say with a soft smile. “They’re too fucking perfect. Besides, she’s scrappy as hell. Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

“Noted,” she replies. “Hey, Jake?”

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