Page 203 of Pucking Around

He nods, raising a large thumb to brush away my tears. “Then that is what I want, Rakas. I want to be the one to carry the burden of your fears. Your doubt, your worry, your insecurity—lay them all on my shoulders. I am strong enough. I will not bend. I will not break. I will carry them for you so you can be free, mun leijona.”

More tears fall as I wrap a hand around his wrist, leaning into his touch. “What does that mean?”

“It means ‘my lioness,’” he replies. “For that is what you are to me, and have always been: a fearless, dark-haired lioness. Look at yourself through my eyes, Rakas. Through Jake’s eyes. Through Caleb’s eyes.”

I shake my head. I want to be strong enough. I want to believe I could be this person they all see.

“I see you, mun leijona. They see you too,” he adds, gesturing at Caleb and Jake. “You would brave any danger for those you love. Climb any mountain, leap from any clifftop. A love like yours is wild and dangerous. You need men who will not seek to harness you or break your spirit. You need men who willprotectyou. Who will provide a safe space for you to love as freely as your heart will allow. We are those men.”

Jake and Caleb step around the island, coming to stand beside him. I’m fully crying now, ugly tears streaming down my face as I reach for them both, my hands clinging to their t-shirts. Caleb’s hand goes to my shoulder, while Jake cups my face, gazing down at me so tenderly.

“Place yourself in our care, and we willneverstop fighting for you,” Ilmari says. “We will never stray, never waver. We will seek no exit. Love us and watch how we love you in return. One family. One unit. Unbreakable.”

I look to Jake, waiting for him to speak.

His hands brush gently against the soft skin of my cheeks. “You know I love you, Rachel. I may not say it as fancily as Mr. European Accent over here—which, thanks for that, by the way,” he adds at Ilmari with a glare. “You don’t speak ten words together for weeks. But then the two times youdospeak, you make speeches that should be printed out and sold with a free at-home pregnancy test—”

“Focus, Jake,” Caleb mutters with a shake of his head

“Right—shit—” He turns back to me, and I can’t help but smile at his antics. “Baby, I love you,” he says, sobering the mood. “You’re my whole fucking world. But keeping this quiet is killing me. I’m so done. I wanna be public with you—them too,” he adds. “I’m all in. I wanna own this story and run with it. I want to get out ahead of it and show all the doubters that thiscanwork.”

But then he’s glancing warily at Caleb. “What do you think? You’re the most private one of all of us. What we’re doing here might get pretty intense. It’ll drag you into a harsh spotlight…”

I face Caleb, taking his hand. “Jake is way underselling it,” I say. “The press will get worse before it ever gets better,” I explain. “Since we’ll be such a novelty, the scrutiny will last twice as long too. They’ll hunt down ghosts from our pasts—exes, family, friends, former teammates. They’ll tell wild stories. It’ll be awful,” I admit, heart in my throat.

“You’d all be risking your jobs every day,” I go on. “Family might turn on you, friends will distance themselves. Teammates, coaches, owners—hell the whole League might turn on you.” I hold my gaze on Ilmari and Jake. “Everything you worked a lifetime to achieve…they can take it from you. With enough bad press, they’ll bury us alive.”

“Our jobs are ours to risk,” Ilmari replies. “If we say it’s worth the risk, you have to put your trust in us that we will handle it.”

“I’m not worth it,” I whisper, tears stinging my eyes again. “I’m not worth this—”

Caleb steps in, grabbing me by the shoulders. “Enough. Alright? Don’t you dare fucking say that again. Rachel, this is not just about you, or haven’t you realized that yet? We’re not risking it all for you. We’re risking it forthis,” he says gesturing around. “Us. We may call you a queen when you’re riding our cocks, and god knows we’ll treat you like one every day for the rest of your fucking life if you’ll just shut up and let us, but this is a democracy. We’re all in this for our own reasons.” He glances at the guys. “I say we vote.”

I gasp. “Vote?”

“Yeah. We vote on going public,” he explains. “No more hiding out. No more secrets,” he adds, holding my gaze, his double meaning clear. Oh god, he’s going to do it. He’s ready to tell Jake how he feels.

“You know my vote,” says Jake. “I’ve been all in since Seattle. I’ll go on all my social media platforms right now and shout it from the rooftops—”

“No,” Caleb says quickly. “We get through tomorrow’s game. The Finnish scouts are still here for Mars. And tomorrow is Toronto,” he adds.

Jake’s gaze darkens. “Don’t fucking remind me.”

“We get through tomorrow,” Caleb says again. “Then we make a plan.” He glances around at all of us. “Agreed? No one says a word until after tomorrow.”

Ilmari nods, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Fine,” says Jake.

Caleb looks to me. “Hurricane?”

I nod, taking a deep breath. After tomorrow. Meaning this is our last night of peace and quiet. The calm before the storm. “Let’s all go to the beach,” I say. “Let’s walk under the full moon, just us and the ocean.”

“And Harrison?” Jake asks, glancing over his shoulder to where my brother is still outside, gesticulating wildly while he shouts into the phone, no doubt making a chef cry.

I smile. “He can watch Sy til we get back. Right now, I just wanna be with my guys.”

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