Page 71 of Sporting Goods

I watched her for a moment and barely realized I stopped speaking.

“She held it together through my recovery but after I started to manage on my own, she let herself breakdown and started using again.”

She shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

What was strange about her apology was that she sounded guilty. I was sure it was just compassion. Because Rayne was full of it.

“I built the store for her. To distract her. Give her purpose. And I stayed here…to watch over her, I guess.”

“I was wondering why you never went back home.”

“I was tired of the calls from my team and told them I got notice from a doctor that I can never play again. The pain was still there. For all intents and purposes, I guess it always was.”

“Can I do anything?”

“What?” The question came out of nowhere.

“I mean. With Tisch, is she better? Maybe…maybe she could use a female to talk to?”

I scoffed. “Tisch doesn’t believe in that stuff. She enjoys badgering people. Mostly our employees and the…unwanted visitors at the store. It’s helped though. She loves the place. Loves running it. If I had the guts, if I trusted her to take care of herself, I would have left this town after my recovery.”

“Are you afraid of a relapse?”

“Always.”

“What would do it?”

I didn’t respond right away. “I’m all she has left.”

Understanding settled in her features. “She’s the reason you never went back to play.”

“She’s part of it.”

Her eyes seemed sad for me. And I hated that I brought them out.“I promised you cake, didn’t I?”

She smiled. “I wasn’t going to say anything but, yes. Cake was mentioned.”

I caught myself smiling back at her on my way to the fridge. I wasn’t the type to laugh or smile often, not since I was a kid. Other than playing professional hockey, there wasn’t much in my life I’d been very happy about. It was a struggle with Tisch for as long as I could remember. Then there was that guilt in the back of my mind all through my adult hockey years.

Of making it when Travis never got his chance.

Women were neither far nor few, but there was no one I ever wanted to see more than a handful of times. No one I wanted a future with.

The only future I had planned other than taking care of Tisch, was playing out my term on the NHL. I just never imagined that term would be so short.

25

The weekthat followed left me exhausted. Work was frustrating, I’d only been to one practice and one game so they filled in my time by putting me on call at the clinic. There was no news from Max, which made me anxious despite my attorney, whose billable hours were starting to scare me, insisting it was a good sign.

Sam offered me coffee, but I refused, still feeling sick about this whole thing with Logan… and Max.

“That’s cause you’ve got it bad,” Sam joked as she sipped her coffee on Friday morning.

“Oh these are butterflies alright, but not the kind you’re thinking of. I’ve been seeing him almost daily since the weekend I spent the night. And it’s been amazing. He’s so different alone with me than when we’re with Jax. He’s so in tune with me and we connect on such a deeper level than I ever thought possible.”

Sam smiled but was silent.

“And his touches. It’s as if his hands were meant for my body.”

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