Page 27 of Touch Me Not

“You know my dad died when I was twelve,” she began. “I started to act out after that. Gave my mom some serious trouble. I skipped school, started hanging out with the wrong people, and over the next three years, you name it, I did it.”

“A little bit of a troublemaker, were you?” Nikoli teased, trying to ease some of her somberness. He found it hard toimagine the woman sitting here now as a hellion, though. She seemed too innocent.

She nodded, closing her eyes. “I had a hard time dealing with my dad’s death. My therapist said it was normal for me to act out.”

Nikoli wasn’t sure what he would have done if his papa had died when he was as young as Lily had been. It might have screwed him up even worse.

“You were just a kid, Lily Bells. I’m sure it was normal.”

She didn’t look like she believed him, but he wasn’t sure what else he could say.

“My sister, Laney, decided enough was enough. I put my mom through hell with all the drinking and the sneaking out. My sister had tried to talk to me so many times about my behavior, but she just didn’t understand what I was going through. She had Mom. Dad was gone, and it felt like there was this hole in my heart that wouldn’t heal. I didn’t want to hurt my family, but I wasn’t sure how else to handle all the pain. Drinking dulled everything so I could at least breathe a little, you know?”

“I do. I’ve gotten drunk on more than one occasion for that very reason.”

She shot him a disbelieving look.

“Even I have problems, Lily. No one’s perfect.”

Again, she nodded and continued her story. “It was Friday night, and I snuck out of the house to meet up with my friends. Laney followed and tried to stop me. She grabbed my arm like you did in the food court. It’s why I reacted like I did. It brought back the memory of that night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t know, Nikoli.”

“What happened when she grabbed you?”

“I pushed her, and when she fell, I went running across the street. There was a park across from us that cut straight throughto where I was meeting up with my friends. She got up to follow me.”

Lily took a deep, shuddering breath, and tears slid down her cheeks. “Our house was on a curve, one you couldn’t see around. The driver never saw her. He wasn’t even going very fast, but he drove right over her. She died from massive internal bleeding.”

“And you blame yourself.” Nikoli hadn’t expected that. Losing so many people in such a short amount of time had to be hard to begin with, but blaming herself too? It sucked ass. He at least understood her a bit better now and could build from there.

She nodded. “Wouldn’t you?”

He could have lied to her, but that wouldn’t have done either of them any good. “Yeah, Lily Bells, I probably would have blamed myself too.”

She smiled slightly. “After that, it got harder for me to let anyone touch me. I kept seeing her grab my arm and me pushing her away and then hearing the crunch and the squealing of brakes. I can still see the truck bounce as it rolled over her. Adam tried to help me, he used to pull me into these bear hugs, but I just couldn’t take it. I started to shake, and then I’d start screaming. I couldn’t bear anyone touching me. He gave up after a while. It was an easy diagnosis for my therapist, but not so easy to cure. It really is all in my head.”

“You equate someone touching you with death, specifically a death caused by you.” This might be harder than he’d expected, but he wasn’t going to let her mental hang-ups deter him. He wanted to help her now more than ever. The pain she’d suffered—still suffered, really—got to him.

“So how can you fix that?” She laughed bitterly.

“With patience,” he said, determined. And some help from friends in the psych department. A few owed him favors and might be able to shed some light on her phobia for him.

Lily glanced up, surprised. Patience? He seriously thought he could cure her of her worst phobia with patience? Nikoli Kincaid was truly insane if he thought that.

“Adam tried for over a year, Nikoli. Why would your attempts be any different?”

He studied her, and Lily looked away. Her emotions were raw, and she didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. It was an emotion she’d gotten used to seeing from people who learned her secret. She hated it. And seeing it from Nikoli was something that bothered her. Lily didn’t think too hard on why it bothered her, though. That would have to wait for when she wasn’t hurting so much it felt hard to breathe. That was what talking about that night did to her. It left her an emotional mess.

“Lily, look at me.”

“You know why I am the way I am now. Can you just take me home please?” She really wasn’t up to talking about this anymore tonight.

“Lily.”

“What?”

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