Page 104 of Touch Me Not

He stood and walked over to the window, gazing down at the parking lot below.

Nikoli almost felt bad for him, but fuck, the man was an idiot.

“I should have done more to try to help her.” Adam crossed his arms. “Maybe I just got used to the way she was, and I liked that she needed me to protect her from everyone. She didn’t want to be touched, and I made sure people stayed away.”

That made sense in a strange way. Adam adapted to her phobia. Nik spent several hours talking to a counselor the school provided to try to understand Lily’s phobia. He’d talked to him about Lily and Adam’s relationship and his confusion with the way Boy Wonder let his best friend go on like she was. The counselor had said basically the same thing Adam was now. The two of them had a symbiotic relationship that fed off each other’s needs and fears.

“Did you know she came to Boston to escape you?”

“What?” Adam’s head snapped up, and his gaze swung to Nikoli. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“She knew you were going to LSU, and she saw it as her way of escaping her feelings for you because she couldn’t be what you needed. Then you followed her here because you didn’t think she could handle it on her own, but that’s not why you followed her, is it?”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so. Even if you weren’t ready to admit it, you loved her.”

“I always have.”

“And Sue?”

“I thought I loved her. I convinced myself I did, but the truth is I gave in to the pressure of asking Sue to marry me. It was expected after we’d dated for over a year, and she kept dropping hints…and I didn’t think Lily’d ever get better. So, I popped the question.”

“That was a mistake.”

“I know. When I realized how much I loved Lily, I knew I had to do something about Sue. Even Lily asked me if I was happy. She made me promise to think about what I was doing before I married Sue. When she wanted to leave while Lils was in surgery, that was the final straw. I knew I’d never be able to be happy with her because she’s just too selfish.”

“It blew up your future when you dumped her, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess it did.”

“Lily’s mine, though. If you think you’re going to win her from me, you’re dead wrong.”

“She might have some thoughts on that.”

“Fuck that. She’s in love with me.”

“If I’d been able to see she was ready to be helped, she wouldn’t have looked twice at you.”

“You’re probably right, but your mistake was my good fortune. She’s the best person I know, and I’m going to make sure she understands how much I love her every single day.”

“I meant what I said last night. If you hurt her like that ever again, I will kill you.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

Adam turned to look back out the window, his shoulders slumped. He understood he had no chance with Lily. Nikoli knew it too. She loved Adam, but she was no longer in love with him. Once Adam read her book, he’d understand too.

“Do you want to read the book?”

“Yes.” He came back over and sat in the chair he’d vacated.

Nikoli picked up Janet’s tablet, knowing this was the best way for Adam to get the idea that Lily could be his out of his head.

“It’s rough to read.” He handed over the electronic device.

“It’ll probably hurt like hell, but I need to read it.”

“That’s how I felt when Janet brought it this morning.”

---