Page 84 of Touch Me Not: Anniversary Edition

“You’re supposed to be getting married in a few weeks. What would that do to her?”

He stopped pacing and sat on the floor. His was expression torn, confused.

“I think you’re only saying all this now because of Nikoli. You love Sue, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then why would you even consider leaving her?”

“Because I love you!” he shouted, his frustration pouring out. “You’re not listening to me, Lily. I love you more than I could ever love Sue. I want to marry you, have kids with you, and grow old with you. Only you. I’ve always wanted that. You’re my heart, Lily. It’s killing me watching you and Nikoli, thinking that should be me with you. Every time I see you two together, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart. What can I say to make you understand? I love you.”

Tears blurred Lily’s vision, and she wiped them away. He sounded so broken.

“Why, Lily? Why do you trust him and not me?”

“Because I was afraid, Adam.” Her words were hesitant, uncertain. “I’ve been seeing Rebekha again, twice a week for the last few weeks. We’ve been talking about that. I was afraid that if I let myself touch you, you’d die, just like Daddy and Laney. I couldn’t do that. My mind refused to even contemplate it. Nikoli had no ties to me. He was a stranger, and I wasn’t afraid of hurting him like I was you.”

“Do you still think you can hurt me?”

“No. I understand my fears now, and between Nikoli and Rebekha, I’m getting better.”

“Then why not give us a chance, Lils? Let me show you how much I love you, how good we can be together.”

“Because I don’t love you like that, Adam.” Her voice was quiet, somber. She watched him recoil in hurt, and it nearly made her double over from the pain. “I do love you, but I love you like a brother, like my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life, but that’s all I feel for you, Adam.”

He stood, his movements stiff and slow. His eyes were haunted when he looked at her, but there was a determination in them too. “When he breaks you, Lily, I will be here to pick up the pieces. Then I’ll show you what you mean to me, and maybe you’ll give us a chance.”

“Adam…”

“No,” he cut her off, “don’t say anything, Lily. I’m not going to give up on you. I’m the one who will be here for you when he’s gone. Remember that.” Adam walked over and planted a quick kiss on her head. It was so fast, it reminded her of Nikoli’s sneak attacks. It was over so quickly she didn’t have time to freak. He gave her a crooked smile and let himself out, closing the door behind him.

Lily closed her eyes and let her head fall to the desk.

Damn you, Nikoli Kincaid, for ruining any chance I had with Adam.

She cried, cried for the life she could have had, for the happiness that might have been, but mostly she cried for the hurt she’d caused the one person she never wanted to hurt, but had.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Lily blinked at the bright sunshine as she walked out of the Miami-Dade airport. To her left, Luther looked ready to fall down and kiss the ground. He didn’t fly so well. Even liquor didn’t help. Nikoli had laughed and told him he should have slept. Lily didn’t think that was an option for the poor guy. Flying truly terrified him. She’d plugged in her headphones and watched a movie on her tablet and then opened a book she’d bought to bring with her. Nikoli had taken his own advice and slept the entire flight. She had a feeling he didn’t like flying either, only he handled it better than Luther.

They waited for the bus that would take them to the car rental facility on the property, and once there, Nikoli rented a new Lexus. Lily would have taken the less expensive Ford Focus, but as Nikoli kept reminding her, he could afford it. Since she’d told him she knew who he was, he seemed almost irritated with her for not asking him for things, but she didn’t want anything from him. Except for his love, and that was something she wasn’t going to get.

The hotel was expensive too. Lily cringed thinking about the room service bill Luther was sure to run up. He loved room service. He’d spent all day yesterday telling her about the wonderful room service the hotel offered. It was their favorite place to stay when in Miami. Nikoli reserved two rooms, one for them and one for Luther. The front desk clerk was overly helpful when he saw them, which made Lily realize they must have stayed here quite a bit over the years for the staff to know them. She shouldn’t be surprised, though. They were into racing, and Miami was a racing city.

Luther declined going out for lunch. He wanted to pass out. Poor fella looked like he needed it. Nikoli shook his head and carried their luggage down the hall, motioning for Lily to unlock the door. The room was gorgeous. There was a sitting room with a very comfortable-looking couch and a wall-mounted TV. A small fridge and sink were tucked into the corner next to the bathroom. Nikoli opened a set of double doors that led to the bedroom and dumped their luggage in front of the dresser that sported a TV sitting on it as well. The massive king-sized bed was covered in a lovely gray comforter.

“Do you like it, Lily Bells?” Nikoli asked, coming up behind her. He gave her a moment then wrapped his arms around her.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, turning her head to meet his wandering lips, and she sighed when his mouth finally landed on hers. His kiss was soft, gentle. It left her breathless.

“Want to try out the bed?” he whispered against her lips before pulling back and staring down at her.

“Nice try.” She leaned her head back against his chest. “Ellie is mine.”

“Not after this weekend,” he promised. The determination in his voice sent a full body shiver though her. “What do you want to do first? Rest, grab a bite to eat, or go see your mom?”

He hadn’t forgotten that she wanted to see her family. They’d flown out early so he could take her, since they’d be busy tomorrow. She wasn’t quite sure what time the race began. Nikoli said they’d text the time and location to him.

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