Page 106 of Shadows Lost
Jar snorted. “I sincerely hope not. Not unless you plan to kill yourself Daemon.”
My pacing paused abruptly. “What?” I snapped.
“I told you to be prepared."The cat was solemn.
“You knew!”I roared at him.“You knew and never said a word to me! You’re fucking lucky that killing you would kill me too.”
“Calm yourself, fairy boy. I suspected. That is all Emon. I can detect both your shadow fae’s scent and your scent from the child. Of course if you would have shifted I would have known for sure.”
“Stop! Refrain from using my name! You have lost that privilege if you even had it in the first place. It only solidifies your own guilt.”I snarled back.
Sliding down to the edge of faeling’s bed I stared at the girl. I could see it now. Tanned skin kissed by the sun, the same as mine.
Sorrow and guilt seized me and I struggled to take a deep breath. “How? Why? When?” I whispered.
“I suspect the queen was finally successful in her experiment to create a child, from what you told me of your imprisonment she was able to use you both to accomplish this. It is my theory that the blood wraiths are her failed experiments with using the Sanguine and the deadlands are created from the drain of energy required to sustain their ghastly lives. The Sanguine cannot sustain life like our goddess can, so she has gone straight to the source. Our world.” He shook his head. “I do not know how she ended up in The Under. That one is a mystery to me.”
My body shook as I attempted to digest the information, but the vivid memories of my imprisonment were starting to take over. “No matter how much I was…we were—” I closed my eyes against the visions of Remnant…those screams. Goddess her screams. “We are not an experiment.” I growled, my claws dug into my hands, puncturing my own skin.
Jar’s voice broke. “I know this Daemon.” He sighed. “My job has always been to protect you, especially since your father was lost to us, but this truth, I’m afraid it is something I cannot protect you from.” I opened my eyes to see tears in his. “That day we found you, after being stolen from us for those three long months, I was beside myself with joy. So relieved to know that you were alive and here with us. But you never really returned fully. I know that some nights still plague you, that the scars reopen and you avoid sleeping because of this.”
“You take too much responsibility upon yourself Jar.” I turned away. I would have been naive to think that he didn’t hear me heaving my guts up at night, waking up in a cold sweats barely believing I wasn’t in that horrible place anymore.
“Perhaps.” He murmured. “There is a part of the story I left out, Daemon.”
I looked up through anguished eyes. “What—” I croaked. “What story?”
“Of Faerie and her brothers. The god Ichor did indeed curse the fae…but he failed to curseallfae. His malediction only affected Faerie’s fae. But the shadow fae…were not created by Faerie. They were born of—”
“Shea.” I whispered. “They were created from the God of Death.”
He nodded. “Deirdre must have discovered this when she imprisoned General Dark.”
My teeth ground together and I hissed. “That was why she wanted the shadow fae.”
Jar gave me a sad look. “She did not want justthem. She wanted toharvest them. For their ability to reproduce.”
I stared at Jarquinn in horror. “All the experiments they did to Remnant—they were harvesting her?”
Tears filled the master healer's eyes. “Yes, technically you both were. A monstrous and unforgivable violation.”
I choked and dropped my head into my hands. “How? How is it that I am her father?”
“Daemon.” Jarquinn placed his hand on my shoulder again. “You couldn’t have known, my cub. This is not your fault.”
“I need to know. If the God Ichor cursed us…then how is it that I can be the girl’s father, Jar? I am a product of Faerie. You said it yourself. She created the shifters.”
Jarquinn hesitated before he spoke. “You are goddess blessed Daemon. The power you hold within you…that burning, raging power. It is the power of the goddess, the power of Faerie. Your mother and father knew it the moment you first shifted.”
“We are more.”The beast said within me.
I ignored the cat and looked up at the healer. “In the Wildwoods. I was healed by Faerie's power. You’re telling me I did that to myself?”
“I cannot say for sure, but what I do know is that you were blessed with this power even before your capture, quite likely at your birth. You have always been more, Daemon.”
I scrubbed my face at the echoed words of my beast. “Fuck. I don’t want to be more. I don’t want to have to pay for more either.” I sent the healer a tortured look. “When is it enough? Why has the goddess abandoned us? How could she allow this to happen?”
“She is with you Emon.”The cat whispered softly to me…almost submissively.
