Page 36 of As the Rain Falls
“You know, Beckett Evans is really cute.” She pauses dramatically. “So is his jacket.”
“I’m, like, begging you to stop.”
“What? I’m just saying!” Kayla takes another bite, chewing very slowly. “I’ve always wondered, you know. Everybody I know finds him cute.”
I wet my lips, raising an eyebrow. “But you don’t?”
“I don’t find him ugly by any means. My problem is with the fact that…” She stops mid-sentence and rolls her eyes, annoyed that I’m so good at evading the question. “I can see what you’re doing, Cassandra.”
“He’s older than me,” I scoff, feeling blood rushing to my face. “It’s never happening.”
“So what? He’s basically older by what? Two years? My parents have a way bigger age gap.”
Except her parents met after her mother hit thirty and finally learned how to skinny-dip her way into a river and a man’s heart. Manon and Jo are an iconic couple.
“Precisely two years, and I’m still sixteen now.”
Kayla singsongs, “But you’re turning seventeen in December.”
“Just accept it, Kayla. Beckett Evans will never go for a girl like me. He dated Alex-with-the-red hair,” I don’t forget to point out the obvious while I play with my hair, rolling a thick strand around my finger. “He likes what’s unique.”
And maybe I don’t want him to go for a girl like me, too.
It would be nice, of course, to date a guy like Beckett. He is really sweet and kind, and I can just tell that he would treat me well. But I’ve never been with a boy before, at least not seriously, and the thought of dating one makes me feel uneasy.
“Your parents would totally freak out,” Kayla snickers, shaking her head lightly. “At least that part is true.”
Nathaniel certainly would.
My chest feels tight with palpitations at the thought of my brother ever seeing Beckett Evans, and I like that. For some reason, I don’t think he would like it very much if I brought a guy home, even if it’s one as good as Beckett is.
“I guess they would,” I lie, my tongue feeling a little heavy.
Kayla pauses, making a suspicious sound, “You know, I thought my eyes were lying to me, but you’re definitely acting weird.”
I shake my head. “You’re so out of it.”
“No, I’m not. You have a crush.” Kayla settles the apple down, holding herself straighter. When I don’t look at her, she gasps loudly, “Oh my God, you really do!”
“It will never happen, Kay.” I wave her off, shrugging my shoulders. “But I agree. I have a small crush, okay?”
Kayla grins in an I-told-you-sokind of way.
I sigh. “What can I say? He is a pretty boy.”
“And he is so, so sad.” She blows a few kisses up in the air. “You could console him with your pretty green eyes. He could kiss you with his pretty lips. You guys would have the ugliest pretty children together.”
“Don’t be silly. I don’t want to make light of what he is going through like that.” I hold my book in place, turning the pages even if I don’t try to read them. I can’t focus on the aftermath of the Second World War when Kayla talks about Beckett Evans. “It’s really sad, what’s happening to him.”
“Right.”
“He’s a good person,” I remind her. “A good person who is going through a lot.”
Her shoulders slump, sadness in her eyes. “I know. God, I didn’t mean to imply the opposite.”
Placing my hand on top of hers, I try my best to sound reassuring, “It’s okay, really.”
“It’s just.” She turns her head, watching our classmates. “I’ve been thinking about it, and we barely have a year left. Things should be happening, right? Good things, I mean. Not the tragic kind.”
