Page 264 of As the Rain Falls
“You really don’t understand!” She explains, her eyes flying to the front door, checking to see if he’s there. “You can’t tell anyone,ever!”
I press my nose to her hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. Cassandra smells like coconut and green tea.It’s calming, soothing.Her.
Iloveher scent.
“Breathe, Cass. Slowly.” I try to guide her to take a longer breath. “You can do it.”
She whines, still struggling against me.
“I can’t!”
“You are,” I whisper. “You’re doing so good, and I’m here now, okay? I won’t leave you alone anymore.”
It takes her another second to register what I’ve said, but when she does, her bloodshot eyes brim with tears.
“No, no. No! You know too much now!” she cries, jaw trembling. “I’ve ruined everything, I’ve…”
“Cassie, no.”
Her voice breaks, and panic rises again. “Why couldn’t you just leave?”
I touch the side of her face gently, trying to imagine how this happened to her. How hard Nathaniel had to hit, how he angled his hand. If she flinched, he enjoyed it. If that’s what this is about.
“How long?” I ask. “How long has he been hurting you?”
Cassandra presses her lips together.
She shakes her head.
Say something.
Say anything.
Please.
“No! M-My brother loves me!” she stutters, her voice breaking when she gets to the end of her sentence. “You don’t get it! I was lying just now! I didn’t mean to say it like that! He’s good!He’s agoodbrother!”
My chest tightens.
“You have to leave,” she insists, still gripping me so tight. “This is not okay.”
“Yes, it is, Cassandra.” I press my lips to her forehead one last time, wanting nothing more than to drag her out of this house. “Just breathe for me, mn?”
Headlights shine through the curtains before a car parks in front of her house. She looks at me, a sudden moment of clarity crossing her mind. I watch her rise, grab my hand, and start pulling me towards the stairs.
When I look back, I hear Nathaniel’s laugh coming from outside.
***
We hide in her bedroom. She turns the key twice before barricading it with a chair. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before with a girl. I don’t think I ever evenhadto.
With Alex, I never had to fear her parents finding me with her at her house. But this situation is entirely different, and I get the sense that Nathaniel won’t like it if I’m around his sister. Especially not if it means that I get to see her like this, wounded and vulnerable.
I sit on her bed, eyeing her as she paces, trying to decide on what to do with me, now that I know her secret.
“You can’t stay,” she starts to speak, then hesitates. Her voice is loud, unrestrained. She catches herself when more noise comes from the kitchen and starts to whisper. “Youreallycan’t.”
“Yes, I can, and I will.” I reach out to her, wanting her to stop for a second and breathe. It’s not the worst thing in the world for me to know. At least someone can help her now. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”
