Page 202 of As the Rain Falls
“NowI’mthe bad guy.” Caleb brushes it off. “It’s cool, man.”
“It’s not cool,” I insist, watching him carefully as he steps closer. “I want you to delete them.”
“Or what?” He raises a hand towards me, aiming for the handle of the door, and I know he is aiming for it, but my brain doesn’t compute. I completely misunderstand the gesture and end up closing my eyes and flinching on reflex.
Caleb pauses, unsure if he wants to laugh or not.
“Jesus, why the fuck are you flinching? I’m not going to beat you up, Cassandra. You know I don’t touch girls.”
I swallow hard.
I need to get out of here.
Caleb gives me one last glance, and all the warmth he might have felt towards me a couple of minutes ago has clearly evaded him. He unlocks the door and walks out. My eyes begin to water again.
I trace after him. “Caleb, hold on!”
“What else do you want? We’re done, right?” He spares me not a single glance, speaking louder because the music is drowning our voices. “The house is all yours, Cassandra. Go get a fucking drink or fuck someone else, but leave me the fuck alone! I don’t want to talk to you right now!”
My heart shatters as I watch him leave. I can’t find it in me to move.
He’ll come to reason later, but right now, Caleb is tired of me. Tired of my silly games. People get tired of me all the time, and so do I. I get tired of myself too.
LUCIA'S DIARY ENTRIES: FEBRUARY 2013
Page 1
I feel soI feel sick to my stomach after what I saw. I’m not even sure of what it was but it couldn’t have been good. I can’t stop throwing up.
Page 2
Beckett is getting worried. He thinks his cooking gave me a stomach bug, but it wasn’t that. My brother is not the problem. Henevercomes to my room like that.
I saw Nathaniel touch her. I saw him with both of my eyes pulling his pants down. It’s her bed. It’s her room. I saw him in her room and under her covers. I heard her cry. I’ve heard her cry before too. It’s not the first time. I think he’s done this before. I want to ask her if she needs help, but I don’t know how to do it.
Page 3
I talked to Mr. Rivera. Nathaniel is gone now, but I think he might be coming back soon.
I’m scared that he will and Cassandra is missing school again.
He always looks at me. He always has. I remember once I saw him hitting his girlfriend really hard. I caught them kissing in the bathroom while Beckett and Antony played. I should have stayed with Angie, but I didn’t
Nathaniel Rivera once told me I’ll be a real heartbreaker when I grow up. He makes me feel really scared.
NOBODY LIKES TO BE SEVENTEEN
Cassandra
DECEMBER, 2016
So far, living thehigh school experience means gathering a list of the worst decisions you could ever make and making sure to get to the bottom of it at the worst possible time.
It’s way past midnight now. December 25th.
My seventeenth birthday.
Happy birthday to me.
