Page 1 of As the Rain Falls
PROLOGUE
JANUARY, 2018
Cassandra
Trials are entirely notwhat I expected them to be. It feels almost comical to think about it—until I eventually remember that this is my life—but nothing feels quite like it does on television.
Behind a screen, everything is more like a spectacle. You’re either eagerly anticipating for the next shoe to drop or naively watching, not knowing that it eventually will. Reality is way more tedious, with hours stretching but leading nowhere.
I lean over the witness stand and reach for the bottle of sparkling water to soothe the itchy feeling stuck in my throat. It tastes exactly like a saline solution to me. I can’t tell whether that’s a good thing or not.
The low ponytail that took me hours to fix swings behind my back every time I move, and leaning over the stand caused my long strands to fall over my covered chest. I brush my shaky fingers through my hair to smooth the knots at the far back, only to stop and chastise myself for even trying to make the hairstyle look better.
I’m pretty sure I only managed to make it worse.
It’s also hard not to obsess over the white shirt I’m wearing. I don’t like it. I think the color washes me out and makes me look sickly. But it doesn’t even matter whether I look pretty or not, not as long as I look perfectly sad. So, why should I bother?
Mr. Lin reads my testimony one last time.He flips the pages one by one with a specific kind of look on his face that tells me he is mildly annoyed. Lawyers like him are masters at self-preservation, but I find it hard to trust someone I can’t read easily.
Yes, he doesn’t inspire me any confidence today. But maybe I’m misreading the situation. Being nervous does that to me sometimes.
After a long moment, Mr. Lin’s gaze drifts from the file right back to me.
“How are you feeling today?” he asks, dark eyes attentive as I swallow another short sip.
It takes me some time to think of any coherent answers.My brain is too scattered, slow to come to any valid conclusions.
Right now, it feels a lot like I haven’t spoken to another human being in forever. The back of my throat aches a little around the words once I finally manage to say something. My voice sounds strained, like nails on a chalkboard.
“I’m okay.”
A second later, I try again.
“I’m fine, really.”
This time my answer is reassuring enough; my tone is just right. Satisfied with my performance, I settle the bottle aside with a shy kind of smile I suppose belongs to my face.I always smile at him like I smile at everyone.
The police officer behind me clears his throat.I spare him a quick glance because it seems like the polite thing to do.
“How is he?” I ask, still addressing Mr. Lin.
He gives me a short answer.
“Fine for now. They’re bringing him in soon.” The files are closed with a swift movement. “But remember, let’s avoid talking to each other.”
I answer with a nod, “I know that.”
I can tell Mr. Lin doesn’t take me seriously.
Maybe it’s the sound of my voice, or how my eyes always have this lost puppy look that I can’t seem to get rid of no matter how old I get.Caleb made fun of me once for behaving in a clueless way even when I mean to be capable and strong.
I thought he was really cruel for doing so.
“I’m being serious.” He readjusts his tie, a nervous tic that I recognize from our long nights rehearsing what’s about to happen today. “Do not address him until we’re done with your hearing.”
Today isn’t supposed to be about me, or at least, that’s what Mr. Lin likes to say over and over again. Today is about his client. Beckett Evans has been charged with assault. As a witness, I am very compromised already. Everybody knows he is my boyfriend. Any little mishap could undermine our case.
“I won’t,” I promise. “I know what’s at stake.”
