Page 92 of As the Rain Falls
Lucia and I had plans.
Dare I even say, big ones?
We were going to leave Le Port after she graduated. Lucia wanted to study art or astronomy at a university overseas. She honestly could’ve done either. My sister was brilliant, talented, and unstoppable. Now, her room sits frozen in time, her things left untouched, gathering dust.
It makes me sick to think of her dreams trapped there, forgotten on this island. The fact that her stuff will remain stuck here, unused, for as long as my parents will allow it, deeply unsettles me. It’s unnatural.
Her voice pulls me back, cutting through my thoughts.
“Your parents… They’re not together anymore?”
“They’re divorcing, I’m sure. But honestly, I stopped keeping track.” I slow down my steps, turning slightly towards her. “Whatever decision they might make is coming a little too late.”
“That’s true,” Angelina nods, seemingly at a loss for words. “By the way, I’m sorry if Mom put you on the spot like this. She’s been really big on us talking things out, and you know how she gets overbearing sometimes.”
I shake my head. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“She means well.” Angelina’s eyes flick to mine, still hesitant. “I swear, she does.”
I sigh, noticing the guilt in her reaction. I don’t want her to feel that way.
“Maybe she’s not wrong, though,” I add softly. “We do need to talk.”
“Beckett.”
“Just hear me out.” I stop walking, lightly touching her arm to get her to stop, too. “This is my fault. It’s totally, one hundred percent on me. I behaved like a complete asshole.”
Angelina’s thick eyebrows shoot up, startled. “But you were grieving, which is totally—”
“I was mean,” I cut in, my throat tighter than before.
Remembering what I accused her of, the things I said, the words taste bitter. It’s not the man I want to be.
“I know I blamed you because Lucia got in that car, but it was never your fault.”
Angelina wraps her arms around herself protectively. “But I overstepped first. You told me to leave you alone, remember?”
“I honestly don’t.”
The funeral is a complete blur in my head. The only thing I’m sure of is Antony’s mom forcing me into bed and how I felt too numb to argue about being tucked in like a child.
“I… Listen, can we not talk about it anymore?” Angie’s voice wavers, but there’s real hope in her eyes as she looks at me. Maybe she’s been waiting for this moment just as much as I have. “You’re like a brother to me and I really don’t like fighting with you.”
“I know. Me neither.”
She swallows hard, staring at her hands like she is trying to solve a complicated puzzle that won’t fit together.
“I thought about it, you know? The doctors helped me make sense of everything, kind of. I wasn’t in my right mind, Beckett. I was imagining things, seeing things that weren’t even there. It’s so humiliating to think about now. I mean, I was really high that night, you know?”
I’m not lying to you, Beckett. She wasn’t drunk!
Why would I believe you of all people? Lying is literally all you’ve done so far!
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me,” my voice breaks towards the end of the sentence. “If it’s too hard, I mean. You don’t owe me anything. Especially not after I made you sick. I was awful to you.”
“You didn’t make me sick, Beckett. My head’s just really messed up.” She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “I just hate how everything went down. I’m really sorry, Beckett. If I’d known this was going to happen, I would’ve done something.”
“Like what?”
