Page 65 of As the Rain Falls
Angelina was Lucia’s partner in crime which I loved, but she also had this nasty habit of lying to me to cover for my sister which I hated. For the longest time ever, Lucia always got away with everything: breaking curfew, going to parties she shouldn’t have been at, getting drunk at the beach, vanishing to places where no one could find her for hours.
Our parents gave us freedom, and Lucia wanted to do it all. Angelina always dove in headfirst, no questions asked.
Every single fucking time.
I knew something bad would happen eventually, but I couldn’t put a stop to it either. Lucia got to an age where she wouldn’t listen to me anymore. I was not her father, and she hated when I acted like it. I becamejusther older brother, and somehow that wasn’t enough of a reason for her to listen.
The funeral was our breaking point in a lot of ways.One second we were grieving together, and the next I was screaming at Angelina. The argument escalated quickly because I couldn’t handle my temper. I blamed her for Lucia’s death because it was easier than blaming myself, and it nearly broke her mind.
There’s not a single day where I don’t regret acting so selfishly, especially knowing about her condition.
“Angelina isn’t one to hold a grudge,” he reassures me quietly. “I’m pretty sure she’ll forgive you.”
“But this is more than just a grudge,” I sigh, swinging my feet back and forth in the water. “I feel like I’m… I’m the reason why she had to go to the hospital, Tony.”
“No, man,” he disagrees, voice steady. “You said some things you didn’t mean.”
The problem is, at the time, I did. I meant a little bit of everything I said. In the heat of the moment, blinded by my own rage, I meant it. And Angelina isn’t stupid, she knows me well enough to be able to guess that I wasn’t kidding.
“Hey.” Antony swims closer and grabs my leg, shaking it. “Stop thinking about it.”
I force myself to smile. “I’m not.”
“You are, dumbass. That’s literally all you ever do.”
Tony knocks his surfboard into mine. A small wave rocks us, but we stay afloat in spite of it.
“It happens, okay?” his voice softens. “Especially with people you care about. Things get rough, and you butt heads, but an actual apology goes a long way. It’s worth something, Evans.”
“Let’s hope you’re right,” I breathe out. “Because I do care about her. She’s family.”
“Of course, she is,” he grins.
But I still have a feeling it won’t be that simple.
The sun is dipping low now, and I can see several houses piled up together, one over the other at the top of a hill. There’s a lighter patch of bright sand that disappears underneath the rocks, and the waves crash violently against the shore.
This place is all I know. It’s part of who I am, and it used to be part of Lucia too.
Still is.
Her body is buried here, rotting under this island. She’ll never get to lie to me again, make those ridiculous out-of-breath sounds as she laughs, or wave at me from the shore with Pepé barking at her feet.
I get caught up in things and I start to forget about her dying on me, only to remember that she isn’t here. We were supposed to do so many things together, including leaving.
Now I’ll never know what it could have been. Where I would’ve ended up if she’d stuck around.
So, why even think about it?
“Le Port is so much smaller from afar, isn’t it?” I mention while staring at the island with longing. “It looks so peaceful.”
Antony stays quiet, allowing me to catch my breath.I touch the tattoo over my chest, my sister’s name carved forever on my skin. He breaks the silence.
“Wanna head back and beg Silvio for free quesadillas?”
“What’s that Brazilian saying again?” I shake my head, fighting off a smile. “You only think with your stomach?”
He grins. “Oh, come on. It’s not just about the food. There’s this party Caleb Monteiro’s out giving tickets to if you buy his special Saturday virgin cocktails.”
