Page 369 of As the Rain Falls
Beckett is explaining as much when Fernanda comes from the kitchen, her hand pressed against her swelling stomach. “I think I’m going to throw up again.”
“Jesus, Fer,” Mateo groans, looking a little disgusted. “Spare us the details.”
“I’ll come with you this time around and hold your hair up,” Kayla says, already walking her to the bathroom. “Cass, cut me a piece of cake!”
“Don’t worry about it!” I grin, feeling Beckett’s hand tighten around my waist. “What were we talking about again?”
“Paying for a guide.” He kisses my cheek. “I’ll get both of our parts, so don’t worry about that.”
It stings a little, though.
I’m not able to afford things, not unless my parents give me money for it. And I might not even be able to go if we really talk to Kayla’s mother about my situation; I don’t know what happens when teenagers get kicked out, but I doubt they’ll just leave me unattended.
Mateo tosses the wrapping paper under the table, trying to keep it away from the floor to avoid any accidents. I give him agrateful glance, knowing I’d probably be the one to slip and fall because of it. He gives me a thumbs-up before blurting out.
“Man, I really need a cigarette.”
“Where’s your pack?” Angelina asks.
“It’s in my… Wait, hold on. I’ll go pick it up.” Mateo stumbles forward. He chuckles a little awkwardly, disappearing into his room. “Look at me, almost falling.”
Her smile falters. “You guys didn’t drink at Silvio’s, right?”
Beckett shakes his head. “No? Why?”
“Nothing.”
She turns to Antony, biting her lips nervously.
“Tudo bem, Angie?”
“Ele não bebeu, né?”
I want to focus on their conversation, mostly because Portuguese is a fun language for me that I’d love to learn more about in the future, but Kayla comes back from the bathroom, her hands steadying Fernanda, who looks pale but relieved.
“I hate being pregnant!” The older woman cries. “I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!”
“I know. It sucks.” My friend tries to reassure her. “But you’ll really love the baby.”
Fernanda shakes her head. “Oh, no! God knows I’ll hate him orher too!”
The living room fills up with laughter.
Beckett touches my elbow, a silent request for attention.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just tired. It’s been a long day.” I shrug. “Why?”
“I thought you looked a little off.”
Now that he’s pointed it out, it’s easier to see how my body is here, but my mind isn’t. His hand slips into mine, anchoring me. I try to smile again, but it feels fake. The nervous energy is starting to make me feel exhausted.
“It’s really noisy, that’s all.”
Beckett nods, tilting his head towards the balcony. “Do you want to step outside for a minute?”
“Okay.” I can only nod. “Let’s do that.”
