Page 365 of As the Rain Falls
“I’m not sleeping at home anymore,” I explain quietly, not ready to reveal more.
Kayla’s frown deepens.“Are you sleeping at Beckett’s?”
I nod, which only leads her to ask the very obvious question.
“Did your parents kick you out?” She lets the hot glue slip from her grasp, momentarily forgetting about putting together the decorations. “Is it because of what happened with Caleb?”
My fingers tighten around the balloon pack. “No, they haven’t kicked me out yet.”
They might if I don’t go back soon.
I don’t think my mother will approve of me living with Beckett, especially at only seventeen.
Kayla presses, “Is it because of Nathaniel? Is he against you dating Beckett?”
“Kayla,” Angelina interjects softly. “We talked about this.”
“No!” Kayla snaps. “Everyone’s sweeping what happened at school under the rug, but I still don’t understand it. Why are you living at his place? I get that you’re in love, but—”
“But what?” I ask, a touch of sadness creeping into my voice. I know what I’m doing isn’t right, but I really don’t want to go back home. “Can’t you just be happy for me?”
“It’s not about that, Cassie,” she replies, shaking her head from side to side. “I’m happy for you and Beckett. Clearly, he’s crazy about you. But you two are in your own little bubble together, and you’re barely talking to us about it. Honestly, I’m a little surprised you didn’t ditch our plans for Mateo’s party.”
“Well, that’s not fair.” I wet my lips. “I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks.”
My gaze goes to the table, taking in all the supplies we bought earlier from the corner store. The lady even gave us a discount for it. I blink a few times, trying to keep myself calm, and exhale slowly.
The hardest part of this is that I miss Kayla. I want to talk to her. I want to know what’s going on in head and tell her what’s happening in mine. I miss my best friend terribly, but I don’t know how to do this or how to have this conversation.
Kayla’s voice softens, “I’m just scared that you guys are getting too wrapped up in each other. This hasn’t been an easy year on you, and if this relationship goes to shit, well. What happens to you, then?”
Her concern makes me shrink.
It’s a valid thought. If Beckett and I broke up now, I’d be devastated.It sounds too dramatic to be said out loud, but I think losing him would kill me.
“I mean, it’s not like you’ve been with many people before, Cassie. So, I get it. I’m not disapproving or anything. I’m just expressing genuine con—”
“I’ve been with seven different guys,” I blurt out, ripping off the bandage. “I’ve had sex with seven people.”
She freezes momentarily. “What are you talking about?”
I start counting. “After Caleb, there was Zach’s cousin—”
“No, I know about that,” Kayla interrupts, a pained expression crossing her face. What happened at her birthday still stings. I can tell. “But seven? What about the other five?”
I fumble for my phone and unlock it.
Angelina sets the mixing bowl aside and sits close, apprehensively touching my knee.
Before I can decide against it, I scroll through a series of unread messages of random guys trying to spark conversations only to be ignored. I show the screen to Kayla, who reads the texts twice before frowning in confusion.
“I don’t get it.” Her warm brown eyes search for mine. “Do they just text you, and you answer? Do they invite you over? Is that how it works?”
I sit back and watch quietly, uncertain on how to answer her question. Angelina hums in understanding, but Kayla’s face falls as she scrolls from one text to another, finding some of which I admit I responded to.
“Cassie,” she says softly. “Was this before Beckett?”
“I’m not cheating on him,” I insist, clutching my phone back.
