Page 354 of As the Rain Falls
“It’s fine.” I kiss him again, trying to get him to relax against me. “You’re telling me now.”
This wishy-washy behavior behavior is familiar to me; it’s the same kind Mateo gave me when we first started talking. I didn’t know how to feel about him then, and we’re right back at square one now.
“But what are they even fighting about?”
“I don’t know.”
Beckett’s face falls, watching Angelina rush out of the restaurant, hiding her face. Mateo hesitates before going the other way, looking completely crushed.
He’s going to hide in the bathroom until we leave, which is something he also did the last time we came here.
I look for Antony and Kayla, only to find them playing karaoke together, too far away to see what’s happening. They’re the only two people who haven’t noticed any of the fighting.
“You know what? I’ll go talk to her.” He starts to rise, and I step aside, letting him go.
“Do I…” I hesitate, glancing at the bathroom. “Do you think I should go find Mateo?”
Beckett looks at me, then shakes his head. “No.”
“Really?” I hesitate. “I don’t think we should leave him alone right now.”
“Trust me, let him cool down first.” Beckett insists. “Whatever stupid shit he said to Angelina, he’s going to say it to you too.”
“You really think so?” My hand finds the curve of his elbow, and I touch him gently. “I know you’re trying to protect my feelings, but I just don’t think that sounds like something Mateo would do.”
“I…” Beckett thinks for a second, considering my point. “I just don’t want him to yell at you too, okay? It’ll make me lose my cool, and I don’t want to… I don’t want to fight him or anyone else until I know what’s really going on.”
I nod, unconvinced. “Maybe I’ll just go sit with Kayla and Tony while you’re talking to her, then?”
I don’t think Mateo could ever hurt my feelings, not purposely. This is allsounlike him. But I don’t want to worry Beckett either, not when he is needed somewhere else, for once. And…
I don’t know.
Maybe Beckett knows how to deal with this better than I do, too. I don’t want to interfere only to make things worse. Clearly, the time I tried to help at the club wasn’t enough. I need to find the time to talk to each of them separately, like Beckett wants to do.
“I’ll be right back,” Beckett tells me, right before he leaves.
I nod quickly, nudging him towards the door.
“Find me after, okay?”
“Okay.”
Please, don’t fight.
Quietly, I remember how Angelina chose to protect me over protecting a boy before, and I’d like to think I’ll be able to return the favor when the time comes. I’d rather side with her than Mateo, especially if he’s hurting her feelings, but it’s not something I’m actually hoping for.
I like our group.
I don’t want it to fall apart.
“Everything okay, Cassie?” Tony asks, sounding a little worried. “Keeping your head up?”
He presses a hand to the top of my head and messes with my wild strands, reminding me how much smaller I am compared to his size. The gesture feels strangely brotherly of him, and I try not to fixate on it too hard.
“Of course!” I look up and smile, secretly wondering if he could go talk to Mateo instead. “Tony, can you go check on Mateo for me?”
“Uh?” He frowns. “Where is he again?”
