Page 341 of As the Rain Falls
I want him so desperately, it makes my entire body ache.
“I… No.” I hear myself trail off. The usually angry voice in my head goes quiet because it knows that this is the kind of thing I’m allowed to do with someone I like and feel attracted to. “I want to be naked for you.”
It’s not exactly what I want to say, but it is the closest to how I feel.
“Jesus, fuck.” Beckett rolls his eyes with pleasure as he presses himself to me. “You really want to do that?”
“Yeah.” I hold him close, circling his shoulders with my arm. “Can I? I want you to see me.”
I watch him pause, consider it for a second, before eagerly starting to give in. It makes me smile again, a little happier this time around, too spoiled to care about anything other than this moment.
Beckett takes a deep breath before pulling the flimsy piece of fabric towards my head, slipping it off me. It tugs at my necklace, making it tighten around my neck. I touch the string, absentmindedly readjusting it against my skin and feeling the metal warming up between my index finger and thumb.
The way he touches my ribs and slowly drags his fingers towards the curve of my waist is so intimate. I close my eyes to feel his touch and let it wash over me, and the darkness enhances my senses a little more.
Another sound escapes me, and it sounds like a little whine.
“Cassandra,” Beckett warns me, uncertain about this still. “You need to tell me when to stop.”
“I will,” I promise, eyelashes fluttering open to watch him.
“I’m being serious, Cassie,” he adds, swearing solemnly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
And I understand it.
I getwhyhe feels that way.
I don’t think I’m the best communicator when it comes to being close to him physically, and every attempt at intimacy comes off so awkward. Maybe it’s because I have no idea of what I’m doing, even though I’ve been with other guys.
Sex should be something I know enough about by now, but I feel clueless still.
I feel young.
Too young.
A kiss to my shoulder, another to the swell of my breast. It’s the most sensitive part of me, just as sensitive as what’s down there. I’ve never had anyone touch me so gently, but Beckett’s thumb circles the hard nipple until Ihaveto try to squeeze my legs together.
“Beckett.”
I breathe loudly, my heart beating so fast I start to think it might collapse any time soon. His eyes darken when I brush my fingers through his hair just how he likes it.
“Cassandra.”
“Take it off.” I motion to my shorts, my voice whiny and breathless. Beckett starts to pull them down before stoppingmidway, and I bite my lip, wanting it gone faster. “Please, take my clothes off.”
I meant what I said. Iwantto be naked for him. I need him to see me, what I’m made of, where I’ve been to, and what I’m scared of. Every scar, every bump. I’m the only one who knows about them, but now I want him to see them too.
Beckett does it in a swift move, the flimsy fabric sliding off until it reaches my ankles. I wiggle my feet, throwing it to the floor nonchalantly, and he drifts his eyes away from it quickly, as if the piece of clothing means nothing to him anymore.
“Hi.”
I inhale deeply, staring with wide eyes as he readjusts himself to get a better look. He smiles at me, and I reach out to touch the sides of his face. My fingers are shaking with nerves, but he kisses the center of my palm sweetly.
“Beautiful.”
Tears start to gather at the corners of my eyes. Beckett touches the beauty marks around my chest, pressing little kisses to the freckles that always pop when I spend too much time under the sun. I arch involuntarily, my body bursting with anticipation.
This is intense for both of us, just like everything else has been so far. I am lying under him, wearing only my panties. I wish I could peel off my skin too, even if the thought of it feels a little gross.
