Page 303 of As the Rain Falls
Cassandra
FEBRUARY, 2017
The next day, Beckettand I find ourselves at the beach to spend the afternoon with our friends. The sun feels a little too warm on my skin for me to be worrying about anything particularly bad, and Angelina and Mateo are both sitting next to me, making their stupid lover’s quarrel my problem.
It’s allsostupid.
They’re debating which childhood cartoon is the most impactful when it literally doesn’t even matter. I don’t have the heart to tell them that some forgotten 2007 Japanese animation is my favorite, butBlue Dragonabsolutely rules over whatever stupid animation they both won’t stop arguing about.
It’s why I tuned them out about ten minutes ago, but every so often Mateo laughs too loudly, and it makes my attention shift from the crowd.
Beckett is talking to Olivia Saint-Louis, making her laugh, and giving her the time of day. She is a surfer, much like he is, with toned muscles and tan skin.
I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf, but I never had anybody to teach me. I guess they have that in common, and we don’t. The whole thought makes my skin itch.
“I’m going to get something to drink,” Mateo says, pushing himself off his chair. “Want to come with me?”
“No.” Angelina shakes her head. “Get me some juice?”
He nods quickly. “Sure. What do you want?”
“Passion fruit, please.”
I keep on sipping my strawberry-scented water, pretending not to be dying to hear their conversation. I mean, why does he have to laugh so loudly at everything she says? The girl can’t bethatfunny.
“You’re looking a little green from where I’m standing, Cassie.” Angelina laughs openly, pointing at my face. “Are you good?”
I am.
I really am.
Beckett sort of is my boyfriend, and I sort of am his girlfriend. He likes me and not her. Except…
Except I’ve seen boys cheat.
I’ve been on the other side.
This is karmic retribution, I realize.
Deep down, I’m no more special than Maria is, really. I don’t have something magical about me that will make him stay. It’s all about Beckett and his decisions, how he wants to treat me now that we’re officially together. If I want a chance at a real relationship, I have to face the fact that I can’t control everything.
I used to be more laid-back before, more uncaring, but now that I’m getting attached, it’s all flowing out the window. All I can think about is him standing next to her, and when I see her touching his shoulder, my mind finally snaps.
“I’m fine.” I shake my head, tossing my hair back. “Stop speaking nonsense.”
“Why should I?” Angelina frowns, her new frames too big around her round face. She points her long finger at them, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “You’re clearly getting all in your feelings about him talking to Olivia right over there.”
I scoff, trying to pretend to be something I’m not. Brave and mature, deserving of a boy like him. “I’m notthatinsecure.”
Except Olivia hated his ex-girlfriend for a reason.
That’s what Kayla told me, right?
That’s what she said to me, and…
Angelina rolls her eyes. “Sweetie, will you just please stop lying to me? It makes you look a little foolish.”
“I’m not lying to you,” I snap.
