Page 254 of As the Rain Falls
My brother hums, eyes glued to the television screen. A soccer game is about to end, small white numbers flashing across the bottom of the screen, next to our family pictures.
I check the score quickly by narrowing my eyes.
Our local team is losing two to one.
“You’ve been God knows where all afternoon while we were dealing with your bullshit.” He sighs, pretending to be tired. “The academy called. Your little stunt is about to cost Dad his job.”
I inhale deeply.Nathaniel makes this sharp sound with his tongue in response before taking a sip out of his drink. The smell of whiskey burns my nostrils.
“He won’t lose anything,” I reason, knowing it won’t be that simple to fire him. “There’s nothing to worry about.”
“They’re thinking of giving it to Mrs. Yun ofallpeople,” he emphasizes. “She’s the one fixing things, apparently. Not that you seem to care about who’s cleaning up your mess, of course. I think you forgot who pays Grandma’s bills after all.”
I roll my eyes. “It wasn’t my fault!”
“Stop trying to find excuses!” he snaps. “That’s all you do!”
Is it?
“What do you want from me?” I find myself breaking, yelling back. “If I can’t apologize or explain myself, what more do you want?”
What more does he want?
Haven’t I given him enough?
I’m being left with nothing.
Scared and nauseous, I make my way to the living room, unsure of what to say next. My brothers sees me leaning against the doorframe, pats his lap, and asks me to sit down. A silent request that has me shaking my head.
“Come here,” he asks and waves a hand at me, coaxing me in the same way he used to do when I was a little girl. “Sit.”
Finding myself unable to say no out loud, I go for the next best thing.
“Pepé is waiting for me next door,” I lie. “Beckett told me to go pick him up.”
Nathaniel exhales through his nose, and a low chuckle follows.
“Pepé?” He tilts his head, sounding amused. “Pepé can wait, Cassandra. I can’t. You know that.”
You know that.
The silence stretches between us, and my heartbeat starts to speed up. My brother drops the beer against the floor, hesitating before standing up. Another silent beat goes by before he takes a step forward.
I immediately bolt, running to the kitchen.
It’s one of these moments where my brain finally snaps right before I go limp, the last bit of fighting in me kicking in, knowing there’s not much else I can do but wait for him to be done with me.
Whatever happens, happens, right?
He follows me, his steps harsher, dominating. I pull one of the chairs, trying to place it between us, and reach for the counter. My hands grab a random newspaper, finding Lucia’s portrait on the front page, and her smile burns me.
I push the dirty cups, Nathaniel’s car keys, and his old computer to the floor before I look back again.
He is coming for me.
He is getting close.
I get to the sink and reach for a dirty knife we forgot to wash, but my brother pulls me backwards, grabs me by the hair, fingers tangling and scratching my scalp.
