Page 233 of As the Rain Falls
I am being dead serious
Talk to your father
Cassandra: i have no choice
he has pictures f me
of*
Angelina: Oh I’m fucking killing him
HOW TO HIDE FROM BULLIES
Cassandra
JANUARY, 2017
The next day comes,and I still have to go to class. I want to ask for help, but it’ll take some time for the administration to catch up on what’s going on. And if I do say something, it’ll all be reported back to my father.
The thought of him finding out about the pictures, seeing them, really scares me. Maybe I just have to wait it out and bide my time.
No matter how hard I try to keep myself calm, I still have to hide in the bathroom all afternoon to fight off a panic attack. Lunchtime was disastrous. I couldn’t step foot in the cafeteria. I’m hungry and exhausted, and I’ve never had to hide in a bathroom for this long before.
There’s a first for everything.
Some girls come in a few minutes before the last bell rings, chit-chatting about boys and clothes and all the things I like to talk about. I don’t join them, even though I’m suddenly dying to. They’re talking to each other, but I’m hiding in the bathroom, scared they’ll find me.
I feel exposed, naked.
I feel like they can hear me breathe.
“God, I can’t believe he’d do this to Maria.” One of them says, and I can hear the disbelief in her voice. “If I were her, I’d slap the shit out of that girl.”
“And she’s so quiet, isn’t she?”
The others agree immediately.
I press my head against the door, trying to catch every word they’re saying. I want to know exactly what people are thinking about me before this gets out of hand. I need to know how to defend myself from their accusations.
“You know what I was thinking? Maria should leak her pictures.” The third one snorts. “She should show Cassandra Rivera exactly what happens when you don’t know how to respect yourself.”
No, no, no.
Please, don’t do this to me.
The first girl gasps.
“But she’s too kind!” she says, referring to Maria.
“A lot better than me!” The third girl agrees.
I hear the sound of water coming down the drain.
She’s washing her hands.
Lip gloss.
Perfume.
