Page 227 of As the Rain Falls
I can’t stop it.
Even if it doesn’t feel as good as it should.
Olivia’s voice is firm. “I can’t let you get away with this. What if something bad had happened to you tonight? You were supposed to be undermywatch the whole time.”
“Kayla.” I turn to my best friend, pleading. “Please, don’t let her tell my parents. My mom’s going through a lot already; she can’t deal with this right now.”
And it’s totally, completely manipulative of me to be pulling this one on her. I can hear myself, hear my own voice, and it scares me how I don’t sound like the girl I know I am. The girl I know I used to be.
“Cassie…” Kayla hesitates, her eyes softening through all the hurt. She turns to Olivia, hesitating before grabbing her phone. “Listen, Oli—”
“Kayla, no!”
“Don’t do this,” Kayla insists before she looks at me again, forcing a smile. “Nothing happened, right?”
I shake my head profusely.
Too fast.
They don’t need to know.
Theycan’tknow.
“You’re okay?”
“Yes.” I insist.
“You really don’t need us to drive you to the police station? Or maybe the hospital?”
I keep my eyes closed. “No!”
There goes another silent minute before Kayla speaks again. “Oli… Can we just keep this between us?”
“Are you kidding me?”
I blink, now watching my friend try to smooth things over, locking the phone back. “Sister’s honor.”
“Don’t!” Olivia exhales, rubbing her temples before looking at me again. “You can’t do this and be around my sister, okay? And happy-fucking-New-Year, by the way. Your best friend is eighteen now, if that even matters to you, and you ruined her night by acting like a complete bitch!”
“What the fuck?” Kayla gasps. “Don’t say that to her!”
“I’m only telling the truth.” Her sister drags her tongue across her lower lip, turning the car back on again. “You might not want to hear it, but whatever bullshit you’re going through, Cassandra, don’t ever bring us into it again.”
“I’m sorry.” I gasp, knowing she’s right.
I shouldn’t have done what I did tonight.
It was a very stupid, dangerous thing to do.
“If that’s the kind of friend you want to be,” Olivia continues, unwilling to listen. “Then, Kayla and I are done.”
Kayla’s eyes flicker towards me in shock. She shakes her head quickly. “Don’t listen to her, Cassie. She’s just mad.”
“Oh, I am mad!” Olivia laughs bitterly. “I mean, what the fuck even happened tonight? Who are you?” She doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t even blink. Her words slam into me, shaking me awake. “My god! Picking just any guy in the streets, like you can’t get enough of it?”
It’s a sharp, slow cut that drags from my throat and sinks straight into my heart. My gaze flies from Kayla to her, then to the ground, the shape of my hands blurring as a sob chokes out of me.
“I’m sorry,” I cry quietly, but the words don’t feel like enough. Feeling guilty and out of my mind, I steal a glance at my best friend again. “I’m so sorry, Kayla.”
