Page 225 of As the Rain Falls
“That’s not cool of you,” he decides, shoveling another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. My stomach tightens. “I’d expect this from girls like Lucia Evans, but not from—”
“Girls like me?” my voice is sharper than I intend, but I don’t care about sounding like a bitch. I rise quickly, grabbing my purse. “Right.”
Cassandra Rivera and her slutty reputation.
Figures.
I wasn’t pissed before, just mildly annoyed at the situation, but I am definitely pissed now. Something about the mention of Lucia just feels so off to me. I don’t want him to speak about her like that. He doesn’t even know her, not like I do. Lucia and I will be intertwined forever, whether I like it or not. Taking a shot at her feels just like aiming at me, too.
“Hey, Zach, do me a favor?” I stop by the door. My heart is pounding so fast in my chest, and I feel like I might puke, but my voice drops, colder than before. “Never speak about Lucia Evans again.”
Especially not around me, I want to add.
He freezes mid-bite, gaze flying from the television screen where Tom is trying to bite Jerry’s head off, right back to me. Something in my tone makes him shrink, his expression shifting to shame.
His shame doesn’t impress me. Zach can choke on it for all I care. People always have a way of acting regretful after you’re gone, pretending to feel bad about treating you like shit, but what about when you’re still breathing? Why aren’t they any kinder then?
“And please don’t give my number to your cousin.” I tuck a strand behind my ear before adding more quietly. “I don’t want to see him again.”
Zach nods quickly, and I step out.
The heat outside makes me wish I’d taken a shower before leaving. I send Kayla a text instead.
Me: im sorry. im at zach’s.
sending you my location now.
Cassandra sends: location address
Kayla: What the fuck
I’ve been looking for you for hours
Do you have any idea of how fucked up this is?
Cassandra I’m worried about you
You’re starting to freak me out
She picks me up down the street, her sister’s car stopping at the curve. I climb into the backseat, and an ugly thought worms its way in. I do really feel like some kind of hooker doing a walk of shame.
“Where the hell were you? Why did you leave?” Kayla’s voice is frantic as I shut the door. “And why didn’t you answer my texts? Olivia and I were so worried about you!”
“I met this guy,” I explain, combing my hair with my fingers. “He seemed nice.”
Her eyes narrow, filled with unshed tears.
“Did you guys have…” I don’t bother with an answer, just shrug. She gasps, “Cassandra!”
The poorly concealed judgment in her tone makes me want to disappear. I can’t handle being ostracized, not by Kayla of all people. Maybe I’m not being the smartest about who I’m having sex with, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have it in the first place.
“Just because you’re not having sex, it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t!”
My voice is sharper than I mean it to be, and I regret it instantly. The feeling is squashed by this voice in my head telling me to push it even further, because really, maybe she’s not who I thought she was.
But isn’t she my best friend?
Yes.
