Page 215 of As the Rain Falls
“I think so, yeah. Nobody likes to be dumped, I guess, but still.”
“Well, nobody likes to be made a fool, either,” I keep my voice gentle, not liking that she’s more inclined to see his side than her own.
It’s the first mistake every girl I know makes: being so empathetic to someone who couldn’t give less of a fuck about them. And I don’t get why guys are like this, deep down.
I mean, you either like someone, or you don’t. There’s no need for games. But we all play them. Me included.
“We can figure this out. Convince him not to.”
“Beckett, I know you’re trying to be nice right now, but I really think it’s too fucking late for that.” She shrinks into herself like she wants to hide from the world. I just want to protect her from it. “Maria probably already knows. His friends saw me there; they saw me going to his room… She’s going to kill me.”
“She should be killing Caleb, too,” I suggest. “You’re not the first girl he cheats on her with.”
“But I’m the first one to get caught,” Cassandra says, her tone final. “All the other girls were smarter than I was.”
“He asked you out, didn’t he? Not the other way around. Don’t overly blame yourself for his decisions, Cass. He’s not worth shit.”
She shakes her head. “He loves her, doesn’t he?”
I don’t even give her an answer to that right away. Of course, he doesn’t. Maria is just the girl he knows he can fall back on easily, but that’s far beside the point.
As silence stretches out, I give her a long look, piecing everything together. Realization hits me like cold water. She actually thinks he is being somewhat honest about his feelings.
Oh, hell no.
“Wait, you’re actually being serious? No, no. Cass, let’s think this through,” I try to keep my voice steady, but the drylaugh still escapes me. “If Caleb cared about Maria, alright, he wouldn’t even consider the thought of someone else.”
She looks back at me, entirely skeptical.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Isn’t it like… the bare minimum? He shouldn’t have been kissing other girls.”
Her voice cracks, “But he said I was pretty and funny.”
“And you are,” I agree quickly, brushing the back of my hand against her skin, wiping away the bits of mascara running down her cheek. “You’re the coolest girl ever, but even someone as pretty and funny as you wouldn’t do the trick. Not if he really loved her, okay?”
I emphasize each word, and she tilts her head up, maintaining eye contact. She just shakes her head.
“Love is more complicated than that.”
Her words make my chest feel tight.
“Don’t tell me you loved him. We both know that it’s a lie.”
“I don’t know,” Cassandra cries. “I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore. I can’t… Beckett, I can’t feel anything.”
“Cassandra.” I pause. “If you really want to know my opinion, from where I’m standing, it’s all quite simple.”
“Is it? So, you really wouldn’t have done what he did?” her voice is barely above a whisper. “You wouldn’t be caught dead kissing me if you liked a girl like Maria?”
I brush my thumb against her palm, watching her shiver. Something lightens in my chest, a feeling of certainty building up.
“Not if I really liked her, no.”
“And if you liked me?” she asks nervously, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I mean, I get it. She’s amazing, and I’m just not good enough compared to her.”
“Cass.” I start, hearing my father’s words echoing in my mind. The conversation with Mateo and Antony. Angelina.Treadlightly. This is delicate. “I don’t know if that’s the kind of question I can just answer right now.”
