Page 199 of As the Rain Falls
I don’t want him to touch me anymore.
“Your eyes are so fucked up, Cassandra.” He kisses my forehead, lips trailing down until he finds my mouth again. “Like a lost puppy.”
He kisses me.
Caleb tries to bite me.
I turn my face away from him, hating his touch.
“Stop it.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “Just stop.”
I’ve had conversations like this before.
Stop it.
What is it?
Nothing.
It’s supposed to be flirty, urging the other person to try and figure you out. You have to play hard to get with boys, especially boys like Caleb. But this isn’t playful banter, not for me.
I’m not feeling like a challenge anymore. I’m tired, exhausted even, and I’m feeling way too goddamn easy.
He kisses my chin, massages my shoulders with his warm sticky hands.
“Do you want me to drive you home? It’s getting late, and Maria might show up because she’s José‘s friend too.”
Then it hits me, right as Caleb drags his thumb across my lips, snorting like I’m a dirty secret he likes to keep around. I blink, almost astonished, seeing right through him. It’s one of these moments that only a girl could ever understand.
Caleb wants me to leave.
No, scratch that.
Heneedsme to go.
He just really wanted to have sex tonight. And I was there, ready to let it happen.
Convenient.
Available.
Easy.
The truth feels like cold water over my head: Maria and Caleb are dating again.
They’re notgoing toget back together.
Theyalreadyare.
I feel it deep in my guts, and I trust that feeling like I’ve never believed in anything else. I know it now, deep within myself, and maybe I always knew.
Maybe I’ve been lying to myself all along.
Like, right now?They’retogethertogether.
