Page 194 of As the Rain Falls
It’s my brother hunting your sister for months because—
“A little, I guess,” I admit, bringing my arms around my body protectively. “We just stopped talking. Things got really weird, don’t you think? And I heard you talking to the boys at Silvio’s… I didn’t know that you could do this, but I felt so sad.”
“Well, to be completely honest, you also hurt mine when you didn’t defend Lucia, and I didn’t think that you could do that either.” Beckett looks away, his chest puffing up. “Can’t we both just admit we have our own reasons for feeling the way we felt and, like, meet in the middle?”
“Yes, of course.” I press my hand against my chest, my face falling. Beckett looks at me again, his gaze more earnest thanbefore. “I just… I really felt it right here, you know? In my chest. In my body. It hurt really bad.”
“That’s how I felt it too,” he agrees, touching his own chest like my words make total sense to him. “And I wanted to be mad at you, but being angry didn’t make it hurt any less.”
My heart stumbles.
Here he is, ready to let it all go.And though I shouldn’t accept his apologies, what else can I do? Tell him the truth? A truth that I can’t prove?
God, my parents will definitely kick me out if I do.
And then, what?
What do I do with myself?
Who do I become?
“Please, just listen to me.” Beckett steps closer, tilting his head so our eyes are at the same level. I watch him, feeling myself melt as he reaches out carefully, one hand cupping the side of my face before he asks, “I made a mistake. Will you forgive me? Please?”
His voice sounds so soft.
How could I ever resist him?
“Only if you forgive me first.” I blink fast, guilt clinging to me, pulling me down. “I’m sorry about what my brother did, okay? It was awful, and I wasn’t on his side at all.”
His frown disappears, replaced by a hopeful look. I want to bottle this look and bring it with me wherever I go. Beckett’s heart must have been built with pieces of sunshine. It’s why there’s warmth spilling around the soft, rounded edges.
“You weren’t?”
“No.” I shake my head, opening up to him and telling just a small piece of the truth. “But everything happened so fast, and I got scared. I felt like Nathaniel was going to get really angry at me for no reason, you know?”
“Oh.” Beckett sighs, sounding devastated. “We’re just being stupid, aren’t we?”
“I guess so.” I wince. “I thought you’d hate me forever.”
“Jesus, no.” His gaze flickers to mine before he adds. “Come here, sweetheart. Give me a hug.”
Beckett pulls me in, holding me close, warm and steady.He presses a soft kiss to the top of my head, and another to the corner of my mouth, something so quick and tender that makes the butterfly in my stomach flutter.
“I needed this,” he admits it in the quiet, and I close my eyes shut, feeling my heart beat so fast. “I missed you.”
My arms circle his torso.“I missed you too, Becky.”
“I missed you so much.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Let’s never fight again, okay?”
I nod softly. “Let’s not.”
It’s such a lovely thing to do with another person, to embrace them, smell the lingering scent that’s kept right at the crook of their neck.And it’s so intimate too, but the longer I breathe him in, the more my heart starts to shatter.
