Page 190 of As the Rain Falls
The car.
The bridge.
Him.
The cold breeze is making my teeth chatter. My fingers are gripping the edges of the seat. Our car smells of smoke. Cigarettes. A smell so thick, so overwhelming, that it’s hard to avoid.
Nathaniel is not making any sense, muttering under his breath words that I can’t make out. When I ask him where he’s taking me, he calls me by her name.
He thinks I’m her, but I’m not.
I’m not Lucia Evans, and I will never be.
“Well, I do,” he exhales sharply, cutting through my thoughts. “I don’t want to get angry at you like that ever again.”
The strings that are deeply tangled inside of me become loose as I listen to him speak.I feel the lingering ache that had settled in my chest and in my heart over the time we spent not talkingto each other starting to fade away. I now realize just how much I hated feeling it in the first place.
Beckett and I, we can’t be friends.I’m no good for him, and I know that. And yet, I still missedthis. I missed actually talking to him, how easy it feels, and how I never have to question whether his intentions are good or not.
“Come in,” I ask impulsively, wanting to know what else he has to say. “Let’s talk inside.”
“Is your brother not around?” he hesitates, sounding unsure. “Maybe I shouldn’t.”
“He’s working,” I explain, pushing the door wider. “Robert got him a job after the fundraiser.”
“Oh.”
He steps inside, and I lock the door shut behind us.
“Can you help me with my dress?” I ask, turning my back to show him the back of the dress, gesturing towards the zipper. “You just have to pull it.”
“Uhm,” Beckett swallows hard before he carefully sets the fruit basket down, stepping closer to me. “Do I just pull like… Okay, like this?”
The dress is black and tight fitted, hugging my body just a little too well. Maybe I should’ve gone a size up instead.
Well, it’s too late now, anyway.
He starts to struggle a little bit, and I mutter.
“Wait.” I suck in my stomach, holding my breath. “Okay, go on.”
“You don’t need to do all that. My fingers are just slippery.” Beckett huffs out a quiet laugh, his left hand steadying my shoulder. “You know, I forgot to say it before, but Pepé really misses you.”
I pull my hair up, glancing over my shoulder. “Does he?”
“He keeps trying to escape through the back door just to see you. I think he really has a crush.”
“That’s adorable.” I grin. “But I’m basically his godmother.”
“Lucia did think of him as her child,” he admits with a soft chuckle. “You can breathe again now.”
I spin around. “How do I look?”
Beckett’s gaze flickers over me briefly before he clears his throat and looks away. I tilt my head curiously, wondering why he’s pretending not to hear me.
“So?”
I smile patiently, feeling a surge of confidence.
