Page 178 of As the Rain Falls
“Oh.” My chest deflates. “I didn’t think of that.”
“I saw it in a documentary.” She flicks her head, making a big deal out of sounding smart. I don’t think Angelina is any better as a student than I am, though. Our results have always been pretty much the same.
I stare at her, a little surprised. “You watch documentaries?”
“I do now,” she explains quietly, a bit shy now. “Not so much before.”
Something immediately clicks. Angelina watched animal documentaries at the hospital. Oh, wow.
“That’s really cool,” I say casually, now poking at the frog’s belly. Liking the way this conversation is going, I decide to make small talk for once. “Did you learn anything else about them?”
“Not really. And if I did, I don’t remember. The episode was about their reproductive system.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“Yeah, it made me nauseous halfway through.”
I grimace. “Ew!”
Angelina laughs, “Right?”
We lapse into silence, neither of us daring to make a move and do the work. Our frog Tiana-who-is-a-He remains thoroughly untouched. Angelina is helpful in other ways: she copies off our neighbor’s notes by using her amazing powers of intimidation, while I take care of the drawings with my pastel crayons. I watch her write in cursive, admiring how neat her handwriting looks, all smooth cursive letters.
“You and Mateo have the same handwriting,” I whisper, still sketching the frog.
“Who?”
“Mateo Pereira.”
“Wait.” She pauses, glancing at me with her inquisitive almond-brown eyes. “You mean Gabriel?”
“Oh.” I tuck a wild strand of hair behind my ear. “He introduced himself to me as Mateo.”
The corner of her lips twitches with amusement.
“He’s so silly.” She shakes her head, pausing for a moment.
“How long have you two known each other?” I prod, feeling curious. “You seem close.”
“Oh, I guess we are. He’s just someone I’ve known for a while.” Angelina smiles proudly at her non-response. Understanding dawns on me that Mateo is a secret she wants to keep to herself. “I’m not the best at keeping up with gossip these days, but are you still going out with Caleb?”
“Yeah.” I stare at my feet, swinging them back and forth under the table. “We’re not doing a lot of going out, though. Just texting.”
She sneaks a side look at me, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “And kissing at the library?”
My face heats up. “Yeah. Definitely some kissing at the library.”
Caleb and I always stay together after class, hanging out in empty classrooms and dirty bathrooms. We watch videos together on his tiny phone screen and steal French madeleines from the vending machine.It should feel like the kind of puppy love that makes my stomach flip, but I spend all my time wondering how to get him to be as obsessed with me as I feel about him.
And honestly?
It’s fucking terrible, that’s what it is.
“Is it so bad that I like him?” I dare to ask, feeling foolish. “Last time, you kind of made me feel like I was stupid, but he’s acting really kind, and I’ve never—” I wince, feeling a little humiliated by the fact. “I’ve never had a guy be so interested in me before, you know?”
“No, you weren’t being stupid,” Angelina cuts me off, fixing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was too harsh, Cassandra. It’s totally on me.”
She’s lying.
