Page 170 of As the Rain Falls
“No,” I lie. “She’s just a friend.”
I mean, she really was.
Is still.
I don’t know anymore.
“Are you seeing anyone else?”
I shake my head. Regardless of what happened at the fundraiser, I just lost Lucia; maybe now is not the time to think about dating. I wouldn’t be able to focus on someone else, and I don’t want to be the kind of guy who won’t make his girlfriend a priority.
Yeah, it just wouldn’t be right.
The question doesn’t surprise me, though. My father absolutely adored Alex, my first girlfriend, going as far as allowing her to come to our family vacation the year we were together. He liked that I was in a committed relationship and not just a kid who spent time studying.
I guess it brought out a different side of me, at least to him, and made me sound more normal.
“You need more than this. Youdeservemore than this,” his voice rises, because nothing is enough for a man like Gregory Evans. He has this, but he wants more. Always more. “I raised you to want more.”
“Maybe I’m just… I’m just not wired like that, Dad,” my voice falters, but I urge myself not to stutter. “Maybe I just deserve… I just deserve a simple life.”
And for you to leave me alone.
He exhales loudly, sounding almost as exhausted as I feel.
“Someday, you’ll have to make real choices. Your mother and I, we might not have been perfect parents to you, but we did what was expected of us. We made our families proud.”
“And you’re not proud of me,” I deduce.
His silence speaks louder than words. I nod, finally understanding. There’s no winning with him, not if I don’t do as I’m told.
The Evans are making a fortune all around the world with research and outer space technology. He wants me to be a part of that, even though the promise of that kind of responsibilitysounds like a nightmare to a person like me, who just desperately needs peace and quiet.
“It’s my life, Dad.” I blink fast. “I’m not a, argh, I’m no-not a kid anymore.”
“Then stop acting like one, Beckett!” he snaps at me, the screen going dark. “You get one year… because of Lucia. But we have to move forward; we need to. She’s not coming back.”
Is this what I’m going to sound like when I hit forty? A broken record who doesn’t see the world besides what’s right in front of him, someone who doesn’t care about anything other than himself, to the point he won’t ever admit that he barely even raised his own kids?
“And if you’re not planning on seeing that girl, maybe you should think about telling her that. She has these lost puppy eyes…” he snorts derisively, the screen showing his face again as he lays back in bed. “The last thing I need is Mr. Rivera ever knocking on my door again.”
I roll my eyes, ending the call before he can piss me off even further. “Well, I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.”
Word spread fast.By the end of last month, everybody in town and beyond already knew about Nathaniel Rivera and me arguing in some kind of parking lot. I didn’t care then, and I still really don’t.
Who do I care about?
Cassandra.
God. I miss her. I miss talking to her. I miss whatever she did to keep me on that phone. I’m still angry, but I miss her. There should be a world where I’m allowed to feel both.
“Why not?” he asks, and I shrug. “Eh… That bad, huh?”
***
I go on to meet Antony and Mateo Pereira at Silvio’s later that same day to distract myself from the incredible feeling of doom I always get after talking to my father.
I’m notcloseto the latter by any means, but a friend of Tony’s is also a friend of mine. Mateo seems like a nice guy to be around, or whatever. I’m not questioning their proximity; Antony is an extroverted person.
