Page 158 of As the Rain Falls
Down the hall, I hear his voice. My brother sounds the same as he did three years ago. Loud and strong. He wants something, and he won’t stop until he gets it tonight.
“Cassandra, open up the door.”
Don’t open the door.
“Please, I just want to talk to you.”
He doesn’t want to talk.
He will hit you.
He will hit you again and again.
He might even do worse.
“I’ll wake up Dad if you don’t,” he warns me, and I chuckle, a bitter, broken laugh, feeling my eyes tear up.
It’s such a brotherly thing to do—tell on each other—but never for us because Nathaniel and I are wrong. We’re tainted. His sins and my silence have ruined everything, shattered whatever affection I once held in my heart for him. I used to worship the ground he walked on; my brother meant everything to me.
He was, and will always be, my first heartbreak. I feel sick just thinking about it.
“Please, don’t hurt me,” I beg as I open the door, backing up until I hit the wall. “I can’t do this anymore, Nathaniel. I mean it. I really, really can’t do it. I’m so tired.”
“I’m not going to hurt you,” Nathaniel promises as he steps closer, fingers brushing against my cheek. When his hands are on me again, he sighs with relief.
I hate it.
Ihatehis touch.
I start, wanting to defend Beckett and Lucia, “About what happened tonight—”
“I thought about it, and I get it now.” Nathaniel cuts me off. “He got in your head, right? But I won’t let it happen again.”
He lowers himself, his face so close I can see his pupils. They’re blown wide. High. My brother is highagain. He’s using things to cope that are only going to make him feel worseagain. I have to deal with him alone because I’m the one he runs to when things get hard all overagain.
Nathaniel breathes out, swearing above everything important, “I won’t let them pull us apart, not ever again.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“They’re vicious, Cassandra,” his voice drops, eyes burning into mine. There’s paranoia in his every move. I’ve never seen anything like it. He sounds insane. “They want to separate us.”
A chill slithers down my spine.
“Who? Who are they?”
I pause, considering who they might be. If I’m being logical about this, especially after what happened tonight, he’s talking about our neighbors.
“Do you mean Beckett and Lucia?”
His grip tightens around my chin. “Don’t say their names.”
“Okay,” I swallow hard, trying to loosen his grip by pulling his fingers apart. “I won’t. I promise.”
“Good.” His thumb skims over my lips. “God, I want you so bad.”
My stomach lurches. We’re too close.
“Nathaniel?”
