Page 150 of As the Rain Falls
“Listen, Cass. I’m really sorry,” I start, but she cuts me off immediately. “I know you’re mad at me, but I didn’t mean to come off as pushy or rude.”
“I’m not mad at you.” She shakes her head, her hair slipping from her shoulder to her chest. “I’m mad at myself.”
“Why?”
“Shooting too high without noticing it.” She swallows hard. “I should’ve known.”
“There’s nothing wrong with what you asked me. I actually—”
“It’s not about that; it’s about how…” Cassandra sighs, exasperated. “I knew this would happen, but I still insisted, anyway.”
“You’re allowed to have feelings.” I frown, but before I can ask why she feels so strongly about me rejecting her, she cuts me off.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“But I wanted to say that—”
“No, I’m over it,” Cassandra insists, but it feels dishonest. “Besides, I’m with Caleb. I actually really like him, you know? And I think that he might like me too.”
I blink, not knowing whether I should break it to her that he probably doesn’t. Caleb will never consider her like I do, like Icouldif only she’d let me speak.
“What did you want, anyway? You were supposed to tell me something, weren’t you?”
“I…”
Lucia.
Right.
“I have to ask you something.”
“What’s going on?”
A warm breeze stirs the hem of her dress. She pulls it down quickly, a delicate flush creeping over her nose and beneath her eyes when she catches me watching. Whatever sadness was lingering there a moment ago is gone now.
Cassandra’s gown is made of a lighter pink shade than Kayla’s, but the two girls are very obviously matching. Hers is all silk and lace, falling against her tights in a way that’s a little more revealing. Gold stiletto heels, making me want to smile.Lucia used tohatethose because they made her calves hurt. I wonder how Cassandra does it, if she pushes through the pain just to feel beautiful.
She’s a pretty girl.
I’ve always thought so. It’s undeniable, a bit like breathing.
I blink, dragging my gaze from the length of her dress back to her face.
You’re flirting.
I was flirting too.
And maybe… Maybe I really was.
Maybe it wasn’t all that harmless, like I first thought.
“Can I ask you a question and be sure you’ll be totally honest with me?” I hear myself say it, but the words feel almost foreign.
All I can focus on is how pretty she looks.
Why is this all I’m thinking about?
“Is this about Pepé?” she asks. “Listen, I know I shouldn’t keep him for as long as I do, but I really like having him around. We sleep together every night, and I really love him.”
