Page 141 of As the Rain Falls
It’s a very thin line.
“Listen, just because Olivia and I are siblings, it doesn’t mean that we think the same about everything. We’re very different, she and I, and the older we get, the more I…” Kayla pauses, looking troubled.
I can see the little clouds flying over her head, chasing all the sunshine that usually follows her around.
“I worry that I might be someone she doesn’t like to be around very much. She thinks I’m this overachiever, you know? That I want all the same things she wants.”
“And what does she want?” I press, wanting her to open up. If this is troubling Kayla, I want to know about it. Maybe I can help give her some perspective. “Leaving Le Port?”
“Not onlythat. Cassie, I just don’t think I want a boyfriend,” Kayla whispers quickly, her expression morphing from confusion to horror. “God, I don’t think I want to date a guy.”
I nod slowly, not understanding what the point of telling me that is, but still willing to follow her train of thought.
“Okay. Why is that important?”
“Because Olivia keeps talking about setting me up with Stefan’s younger brother. He’s our age, you know? And goes to public school. She keeps pushing, and I keep blowing her off, and…”
A grin slowly spreads on my face. “Is this what’s been on your mind for so long? Not wanting to date some guy?”
“Cassandra.” Kayla takes a deep breath. “Listen to me, I don’t think I want to date a guy, like,ever.”
“Oh.”
“Like, when you told me about Caleb kissing you, and you didn’t look happy about it, I thought maybe—”Maybe I understood. “But then, of course.”
“Well, I did like it.” I blush a little. “And I’ve liked it before, with other boys, too.”
“I never have.” Kayla looks devastated. “I don’t think I was made for it. Every single time a guy tries to talk to me, it ends so badly.”
Then, she shows me what’s hiding on her phone: a string of texts where some guy tried to chat her up, only for her to leave him on read.
“I’m such a freak, aren’t I?”
Kayla looks so small and scared. I never want her to feel that way, especially if it’s about something she has very little control over. You can’t choose who you love; it just happens to you.
“You’re not a freak,” I snort while checking out his profile picture. He’s cute, but not my type. “You’re just not into guys.”
“Then, I’m a lesbian.” She throws her phone onto the bed. “Why does that sound so much worse?”
Because it’sA Word.
A big, undeniable truth. Nobody likes those.
“Is Alice your type?” I ask, curious.
Kayla flushes. “Stop, Cassie. This isn’t a joke to me.”
“I’m not joking,” I promise, intertwining our fingers together. “So what if you are? What if she is? Why should Olivia care?”
“She doesn’t believe in it.” Kayla shrinks into herself. “I’ve heard her talk about Alex, the girl from her grade.”
“The one who dated Beckett?”
“Yes.” Kayla wets her lips. “Alex likes both boysandgirls. Olivia said she was disgusted.”
Her words make me frown.
“She thinks Alex didn’t deserve a guy like Beckett.”
