Page 129 of As the Rain Falls
“You’re taking Spanish?” I blink, surprised and fighting off a big yawn. “I assumed you’d be fluent already.”
“I can speak it well if I need to,” she agrees. “My accent is a bit shitty, though. It’s just for extra credit.”
“Are they planning on changing the exams or not?” I ask, knowing it wouldn’t be fair to test the class on topics that weren’t taught. Cassandra might be fluent, but the other students certainly aren’t.
“I believe so, yes.” She grabs my elbow with her free hand, pulling me towards her. I tilt my head, assuming Cassandra wants to whisper something in my ear. “Here, so you start feeling better.”
Her kiss lands at the corner of my mouth. It’s short and sweet and reminds me of our conversation a couple of days ago. Hugs and kisses, right?
“Look at you, smiling at me,” Cassandra teases. “I’m telling you, it always works.”
“Mn.” I look away, feeling shy.
We walk a little more before she starts rambling again. I listen patiently as she chatters my ears off, only interrupting a few times to make a particular comment about whatever story she is trying to tell me. Zacharias seems to be struggling at school, always getting involved in some kind of gossip, and Cassandra wants Kayla to stop inviting him to their table during lunchtime.
“Kayla said I was being unfair, and it made me realize that I might come across as really pushy sometimes, just like she does to me, which is totally not how I mean to do.”
“You’re not pushy.” The sound of the steady claps of my flip-flops against the rocky ground turns muffled as we reach the sandy landscape. “You’re a good friend; that’s completely different.”
“Okay, but so is she.” She licks her bottom lip before glancing at me. “And if I wasn’t being pushy before, I’m certainly going to sound pushy now. Do you ever sleep, or are you like some kind of superhuman?”
“A super what?”
“Superhuman. With the incredible power of never sleeping.” Cassandra pokes my arm. Her voice is playful, but I can hear the thinly veiled concern she’s trying to keep from me. “I mean, you’re always up very early, and if I try to text you after midnight, you’re still awake too. And you have to answer me now, because I’m not being pushy. I’m just being a very good friend.”
“Cassie.” I pause mid-yawn, my face breaking into a smile. “Nice try.”
“Come on, give me something to work with, or else I’ll spend the night worrying about you.”
It’s the last part of her sentence that convinces me to give in a little. Maybe she deserves to know what’s going on in my head just a little. I don’t want to keep her up. She has a lot of shit to do every single day at school and cooking for her father and brother.
“Okay, so. The thing is, I have to drive to the farm. And…” This is a bit of a lie. Well, my boss wouldn’t mind if I showed up to work a little later. I know he wants me to rest more. I just can’t bring myself to do it. “No, that’s bullshit, actually. I think I just can’t sleep without any noise around.”
“Do you want me to start sending Pepé back every night? He can keep you company after work.”
“Pepé is not who I’m missing. The house will be too quiet if he’s around, too.”
My statement is met with silence. I feel like I’ve said too much, and I really didn’t want to make a big deal out of this in the first place. Cassandra doesn’t need to be worrying about me or my awful sleep schedule. I’ll fix it up myself, in my own time.
But I see the questions popping in her mind one after the other, wondering about how I’m dealing with Lucia’s death. This is the worst part about grieving someone: no matter what reaction you get, it always feels uncalled for, even if it’s backed up by the best of intentions.
I force myself to smile. “I’m okay, I promise. Besides not sleeping, I’m doing really fine.”
“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” She readjusts the straps of her schoolbag over her shoulders, and I gesture, wanting to grab it and relieve her from carrying all the weight. “I’m sorry for never knowing what to say. I wish I could find the right words.”
Andthis, this is what I love about her the most.
There’s no pretense, not with Cassandra.
It’s just us.
“I don’t mind it. I like talking to you even if it doesn’t lead us anywhere,” I chuckle, but my chest is tightening with an emotion that I can’t address right now. So, I shake it off and think about what she was talking about before instead. “Now, will you please go back to entertaining me? What else is happening out there, besides incompetent Spanish teachers who can’t do their job and Zach telling on other people?”
Cassandra smiles hesitantly, wiping away the bit of sweat from her forehead. The sunlight catches the edges of her cheekbones, making them glow when she tilts her head. She is beautiful, looking like this, just a bit wilder than usual.
“Okay.”
The main street is almost entirely empty, with only a few cars driving back as the sky turns into a bright shade of orange. We take a smaller road to the park, hidden between one house and another. It leads us inside the forest surrounding Port des Ondes, which is also a trail our neighbors like to use to go on walks. She immediately launches into a story about Kayla and Alice’s never-ending feud. Something about a dance competition this time around.
