Page 51 of Cody

I didn’t. I opened the door and slid outside. What a mess! I walked briskly down Cody’s driveway, watching where I put my feet to avoid any sharp rocks or objects that could cut me. For the most part the road was packed dirt from years of being driven over.

I was thankful I’d made it to the end of his drive when I heard a vehicle coming up behind me. I didn’t look back to see who it was as I turned down the main road that would take me home, thankful when the vehicle turned in the opposite direction. I hadn’t heard the second vehicle until it slowed down beside me.

“Get in.”

I kept my eyes straight ahead and kept walking. “No.”

“We need to talk about this.”

I huffed resignedly, knowing he was right. I stopped abruptly and took in a deep breath before turning toward the truck and walking to the passenger door. Our eyes met. His were filled with worry between a slight frown.

I decided to be honest with him and lay it all on the table. “You know, when I broke up with Eddie, I told myself that I would welcome another relationship, but first I was going to take my time. Date a few men.” I hesitated and swallowed. “Sleep with them, if I was so inclined. Become a modern woman without restrictions on my life.” I swallowed again. “But this morning opened my eyes. That’s not me, Cody. I don’t just sleep around. I realized that I have to care...a lot to give myself to a man.”

I hoped he understood what I was saying. “I was strongly attracted to you from the start, and that’s never happened to me before. I love being with you.” I shook my head slowly. “But I can’t be with you the way you want. I can’t keep my heart from feeling something more, something deeper. So I think the best thing for us to do is to stay friends.” I paused, then added, “Without benefits.”

He scoffed, his mouth tightening. “You really think we can just be friends?”

I didn’t want to admit that we couldn’t. “People do it all the time.”

With a sound of anger that revealed his frustration, Cody turned his head and stared out his front window. I could see the muscle working in his hard jaw. He wanted to argue, but in the end he looked back at me.

“What we have between us is good, Alina.”

Not enough,I thought silently.It’s my fault we’re in this situation.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

No. It was going to kill me seeing Cody with other women and knowing they were getting a part of him that I wanted all to myself. I wantedhimto myself. How could I have ever thought that I could share a man I had feelings for? And I did have feelings for him. This morning had taught me how strong they were, and I knew that going forward I would need to make changes that would hurt.

I forced a smile on my face to hide the sadness overwhelming me. “I’m sure.”

A minute passed before he accepted my decision, though I could tell that he wasn’t happy about it. “Okay, well as a friend, get in the car and let me take you the rest of the way home.”

I hesitated briefly before opening the door and climbing in.

Chapter 25

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