Page 45 of Cody

I folded my legs beneath me as I sat on the corner of the couch, facing him.

“But it could start anywhere.”

“Interesting.” I took a sip of wine, stalling for time because I knew I was going to change the direction of our conversation. “So, tell me, why are you so opposed to monogamy? Is it that you like variety?” That seemed the most obvious reason. “Or are you just afraid to commit to one woman?” I figured this was as good a time as any to get to know Cody a little better, to try to understand what made him the way he was.

The furrowing of his brows revealed that he didn’t like my topic of conversation, and he took his time responding.

“You got me a little worried here, Alina. I thought we were on the same page.” He brought the glass of whiskey that was in his hand to his mouth, but his eyes were narrowed on me.

I felt mild disappointment at his inadequate response. “I’m not opposed to being in a relationship, but I’m not in any hurry either.” It felt like a lie, because what I was beginning to feel for Cody was more than what I should have felt for someone who was just a casual hookup, and it was happening much too quickly. “I just broke up from a long-term relationship. I’m open to, ah, playing the field until—if—-the right man comes along.” I took a calming breath, wondering if I should go on. “Until it’s not playing anymore.”

Until I begin to feel something for you,I didn’t add. Because if I did, and he didn’t reciprocate, then I’d have to walk away.

“So that’s what you’re doing? Playing the field?” He seemed a little more relaxed now.

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” I countered. “Playing the field by sleeping around until the right woman comes along?”

He shook his head. “I don’t see it that way. I’m not looking for the right woman.”

My heart fell at his remark and then fell even further when he continued in a tone that left no questions that he was firm in his beliefs, “There isn’t a woman out there who’ll mean enough for me to give up my bachelor life.”

I knew that he really believed that. There was an underlining message there, a warning. He was too old for change, too set in his ways. Was Cody trying to convince me of that, or was he trying to convince himself?

“Hypothetically speaking, what if you do meet someone—”

“I won’t.” There was a hard note in his reply that matched the hard resolve in his eyes.

He seemed so sure of himself—or he was just that stubborn? Stubborn enough to deny himself that kind of happiness, of loving someone.

“The women I date know the score. The ones who cross the line are cut from my life.”

Wow. My mouth dropped open at his admission, and it hit me that maybe I needed to cuthimfrom my life before things went too far and I ended up hurt. This wasn’t the first time that Cody had made his lifestyle choices clear to me, and I had to respect him for his honesty. I finished my wine and set the glass on the side table next to me.

“There was a woman once.” Cody said unexpectedly as he stared off at something only he could see.

I could tell that he regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to explain anything to me, but curiosity kept my mouth shut. If he was willing to talk, I was going to let him.

“Her name was Maggie. I met her at, of all places, a library,” he snorted.

I couldn’t picture Cody in a library, but I kept quiet.

“She was pretty and sweet, and we clicked right away. Everything moved fast after that.”

I sensed that he was going to cut a lot out of the story.

“Within two months we were living together. I thought we were in love, but then later I found out that every time I went on deployment, she fooled around on me. She tried to convince me that it was all lies, but her pregnancy was proof.” He paused for a second, pinning his gaze on me. “At that point in ourrelationship—” He said the word as if it was poison, “—I hadn’t told her that I’d had a vasectomy.”

So, the baby wasn’t his. My heart immediately went out to him and the betrayal he must have felt. His tone and expression didn’t reflect a man who was still hurting though. Cody told his story with resigned acceptance and an indifference that I found kind of sad.

After a while he said, “I’m not even sure why I’m telling you this.”

I knew why. Cody was afraid I’d catch feelings for him. I wanted to tell him that not all relationships ended the way that his had, that Maggie had just been the wrong woman for him. But I didn’t think it would make a difference. All he knew was that he’d loved her, and she’d cheated and gotten pregnant by another man.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I said softly when I knew that he had finished telling his story.

“It happened a long time ago, and it taught me a valuable lesson.” He set his glass down on the trunk he was using as a coffee table and got to his feet. “I’ll get you another glass of wine.” He reached for my discarded glass and walked to the kitchen.

The urge to say something, anything to lighten the mood, prompted me to joke, “You don’t have to ply me with alcohol to take advantage of me.” I unfolded my legs and rose to my feet to follow him. Cody shot me a brief grin over his shoulder before turning back to pour the wine.

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