Page 64 of Edge of Secrets

“Don’t tell me how I feel. I’m not talking about feelings. I’m talking about real things. Concrete things. Commitment. Fidelity. Protection. Support. Resources. Everything I have. And children, if you want them. I thought that if you cared for me at all, you’d be pleased.”

It took her a while to respond to that. “I don’t ‘care for you,’ Duncan,” she said, her voice small. “I love you. Greedy Nell. Always asking for more. And besides, feelings are real. Mine are. What would it cost you to admit you love me? Is it just a control thing? You have to have the upper hand? You can’t give in to strong feelings?”

“They’re not necessary,” I retorted. “None of this drama is necessary.”

“This is about your father, right? You hated him for calling what he did love. You have to be his opposite. No matter what.”

That froze me cold. “Don’t talk about my father,” I said.

The tone in my voice made her lean back, her eyes big. “Sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t marry you. Not on these terms.”

“I figured that out by myself, by context and inference,” I said. “I’m not as intellectually stunted and backward as you seem to think.”

“Don’t be sarcastic,” Nell snapped, dashing away tears. “It’s one thing to wait around for a lover to admit to loving you. It’s entirely another to wait around for a husband to do it.”

I stared at her. “You would’ve waited a long time,” I said. “I’ve offered you more than I ever dreamed of offering anyone. If it’s not enough, then there’s nothing more to be said.”

Nell straightened up, stiff and dignified. “I understand.”

A phone began to ring somewhere. I recognized the muffled ringtone of the cell I’d given to Nell. It was in her purse, which she’d left on the floor next to the couch.

She made no move to get it. I leaned over, fished it out, and checked the display. “It’s an upstate area code,” I said, handing it to her. “Maybe it’s one of your sisters.”

She stared down at the ringing phone in her hand, a perplexed frown between her brows, as if she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. That was my cue to get the hell out of the room. I walked back out onto the terrace and pulled the sliding door firmly shut behind me. Letting her take her goddamn phone call in privacy.

Since her affairs were no longer any of my fucking business.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Nell

It took a long time to find the right button to push, since I could barely see, my eyes were so blurred with tears. I finally got it and held the phone to my ear. “Yes?”

“Nell? Finally! It’s Nancy. Sorry I’m calling so early, but I couldn’t stand to wait. I hope I’m not interrupting anything, you know, delicious?”

“No,” I forced out after a pained little pause. “You’re not.”

Nancy was silent for a moment. “Um ... is everything okay?”

“Fine.” I forced false brightness into my tone. “So what’s up?”

“I just got off the phone with Elsie.”

Elsie was Lucia’s sweet but extremely nosy next-door neighbor. She’d been there decades before we’d come to live there. I was surprised to hear her name.

“I thought Elsie went down to the Jersey Shore to live with her daughter after what happened to Lucia!”

“Oh, but she did. She just spent a full half hour telling me the horrors of sharing a bathroom with her teenage granddaughters. Alison brought her home last night. Elsie had the key Lucia had given her years ago, so this morning she decided to go over and check the place out for us.”

I sucked in a breath. “Yikes. Did you ask her to do that?”

“Hell, no! I told her not to ever do it again. It could be dangerous. But you know how she is. Anyhow, she found a letter under the mail slot, from an Elisabetta Barbieri, in Castiglione Sant’Angelo. Elsie opened it?—”

“Good God,” I muttered.

“I know, I know, but I wasn’t inclined to complain. And besides, it didn’t matter—it’s in Italian, and Elsie’s Polish. So she called me.”

“I’ll go up there right away and get it,” I said.

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