Page 50 of Edge of Secrets

The woman smartly dressed a tray of salads and passed it across the counter to the redheaded waitress. The waitress leaned over my shoulder from behind, popped fragrant strawberry gum in my ear, and studied me as if I were some strange species of mold in a petri dish. “Not bad,” she commented. “Big. I like ‘em big.”

“I’m Norma,” the older woman said, examining me over the lenses of her glasses. “I own this joint. And you’re Strip Steak.”

Being defined in terms of my lunch choices was a new experience for me. “Duncan Burke, at your service,” I said.

“Duncan Burke. So you’re the one,” Norma said again, wrapping silverware in napkins and stacking them on a tray with machine-like efficiency.

I took a cautious sip of my coffee. “What one am I?”

“The one who’s taking away my right-hand woman. At the worst possible time.”

“Nothing personal,” I said. “Sorry, ma’am, but it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there.”

“Don’t I know it,” Norma replied, her voice steely. “And in light of that specific fact, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you what a prize you’ve got in her.”

My coffee cup stopped halfway to my mouth.

Norma went on. “I heard about that kerfuffle last night, see. You, saving her from those guys on the street. Very good. Bravo. I like that you can handle yourself in a tight situation. That’s a good quality in a man. Very useful. But it’s not enough.”

I blinked. “Uh … it’s not?”

“No. Not for Nell. Nell’s special. Sensitive, brilliant, empathetic, kind. She deserves an absolute top-shelf experience. She has more to give than you could possibly imagine.”

I started to feel hunted. “How do you know what I can imagine?”

“Sorry, honey, but any guy who orders the same lunch every day for six weeks in a row has serious issues with his imagination,” Norma told me, not without sympathy.

The redheaded waitress swooped by and leaned over my shoulder again. “But don’t despair, big guy,” she said, popping her gum in my ear again. “You can make up for a lot of that intellectual imagination stuff in bed, if you treat her good. And I mean, like, really, really good, get it? Life’s a series of trade-offs, see. So work to your strengths.”

“An excellent point,” Norma agreed. “Keep it in mind. But beware. If you don’t treat her like a goddess, you’ll have me to answer to.”

I forced my mouth to close, and coughed to clear my throat. “Just what are you implying, ma’am?”

“That depends entirely on you,” Norma said crisply. “You see, unfortunately, our Nell is an orphan twice over. There aren’t parents around to judge you, interrogate you, and generally break your balls.” She pointed at her chest. “But here I am, Strip Steak—ready and willing to pick up the slack. I can be worse than the very worst mother-in-law you could imagine. More unreasonable, more demanding, more critical, more nitpicking. Beware. That’s what you’re up against. Stay on your toes. Don’t get lazy. Don’t get complacent. Mind your manners.”

“Yeah,” the redhead piped up. “And there’s me, too. And Monica. And don’t forget her two sisters. Mess with Nell, and Nancy and Vivi will rip you open and toss your entrails into the gutter. And I’ll be right there with ‘em, knife in hand.”

I considered that startling image for a moment. “So, uh, what exactly are you getting at? Do you want me to formally declare that my intentions are honorable?”

Norma’s smile turned approving. “Well, would you look at that, Carla. He’s quicker than he looks. I like the way your mind works, fella. You’re on the right track.”

Nell appeared with a plate. “Here’s your dessert. Carla, table five needs a slice of Black Forest and a Key Lime, and they’re in a rush, okay?”

Carla gave her gum a final loud pop and sashayed away as Nell set down the dessert. It was not apple pie with ice cream. It was a fluffy, quivering yellow-and-white confection with towering whipped cream, cradled in a buttery, crimped crust.

“I decided you needed a change of pace.” There was a note of challenge in her voice. “This is a house specialty. Banana cream pie. You must try it. I insist.”

She stared at him, her soft mouth stubborn. Norma stared, too, from behind the counter, her chubby arms crossed across her voluminous bosom. Seconds ticked by.

This was not about pie. This was some subtle test that I could not afford to fail. And besides, God knows, I was doing plenty of insisting myself lately, so it was only fair.

Aw, what the fuck. It was just pie. I forked up a bite. “It’s good,” I said automatically. Then I took another bite and realized that it was true. It was amazing.

Nell’s face relaxed. Norma harrumphed and stumped away to serve a customer at the other end of the counter.

Nell leaned down to my ear. “What did those two maniacs say to you?”

“I was just informed that I should declare my intentions,” I told her. “I was warned that if I don’t treat you like the shining goddess you are, I’ll be sliced wide open by all your soul sisters and my steaming viscera tossed out into the street.”

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