Page 6 of The Virgin's Dance with the Devil
PS: Thank you again for the book and the quill and ink set. I will treasure them always.
Dear Marisa,
I hope you will forgive me for writing again. I know I am not worthy of your love, and I have tried to do as you asked, but forgetting you is proving impossible. I can’t get you out of my mind. I see you in my dreams every night, and they are the sweetest dreams in the world, and then I wake up and know they are dreams that will never come true.
One dance and sixty-three minutes of eating gnocchi might be all the time we’ve spent together in the flesh, but my heart feels like it’s known you forever.
I will not defend myself against your accusations. I can’t. You see me more clearly than I think I see myself. I am a sinner, my angel. It is true. I haveindulged in all seven of the deadly sins and now I repent them. I repent every sin, but it runs deeper than mere repentance. There is something about you that touches my heart so deeply that I find myself wanting to be a better man, not just to prove myself to you, but for the sake of my soul.
Rico puthis pen and paper down and did another internet search. After thirty minutes of searching and reading, he’d found what he needed. Sure, it was another War & Peace reference, but it was the best reference the internet had thrown at him.
Let me be like Pierre Bezukhov. Only through embracing spiritual growth and discovering his morality was he able to find lasting love and happiness with Natasha. I will take your friendship with both hands, but please, my angel, don’t give up on me.
Tell me what to do to deserve you and win your heart. I will do anything. Anything.
Just don’t tell me to forget you. It would be easier for me to capture the moon.
Mylove always,
Rico x
Dear Rico,
It isn’t a case of you deserving me. Everyone deserves love and happiness, and I feel that if circumstances were different, our story would be different too, because I do have feelings for you, but I know nothing can come of them.
I can’t change your fundamental nature any more than you can change mine, and I wouldn’t want to. The Rico I’m getting to know is someone I like very much (and very different to your public persona), but the life you live is so different from mine and so antithesis to everything I value that it would never work between us, but I would like us to be friends – I think we are becoming friends?
With friendship and affection,
Marisa x
PS: I’ve tried reading Dr Zhivago, but I think your initial assessment of it was correct. I will stick with the film. In fact, I shall see if I can watch it as soon as I’ve posted this letter to you.
PPS: My book club have chosen Elena Ferrante’s My Brilliant Friend as our next read. It’s set in Naples, which made me think of you.
Dear Marisa,
It warms my heart to read that you have feelings for me, but I accept your wish for our relationship to be only that of friends. Under your tutelage…
Rico smiled to himself. Tutelage. What a word! At the rate he was going, his vocabularywould soon be as impressive as his bank account!
… I believe I can become a better man. My soul needs me to become a better man. Please help me, my angel.
I am travelling to Florence next week. Please allow me to buy you lunch. I swear I will not speak of love – I just have a deep yearning to spend time with you and grow our friendship. I will make myself available any time, date and location of your choosing.
All my love and friendship,
Rico x
Dear Rico,
I can meet you at 1 p.m. on Wednesday at Piazza del Duomo. Wait for me by the carved lion at the door of the cathedral.
With affectionate friendship,
Marisa x
Four months after the engagement party
