Page 43 of Risk

“Honey, it doesn’t matter how old you are, what position in life you’re in. Having a baby is scary. Even if they’re planned.”

I chew on the inside of my lip. “When I first found out, I freaked out because I’m just in my first semester of my PhD. I panicked and thought that I’d have to leave school. But I’ve had a few days to process, and I know I could do both. I could have a baby and do my PhD.”

“You absolutely could.”

“But…I’m just afraid of being a single mom.”

“You don’t think the father would want to be in the picture?”

I sip my water, shrugging my shoulders as I think of Kaden. “Honestly, I don’t know. Part of me thinks he would want to be involved—with the baby,” I clarify. “He and I…it was just aonetime thing. So, I would be raising this baby alone, even if he was in the picture.”

“I won’t say that raising a child alone isn’t hard because it’s the hardest job out there. But it’s rewarding as hell too. And if you decided to have this baby, you wouldn’t be alone—not really. You’ve got too many people who love you. Three overbearing brothers and two sisters-in-law who adore you. We’d be there for you every step of the way. So, don’t let the thought of being alone in this overwhelm you too much. All you need to do is decide if having a child is something you want at this point in your life.”

SIXTEEN

It’s been five days since I had lunch with Cam. I’ve thought about my options, up, down, left, and right.

And I just know I can’t have an abortion. I know abortions are right for the women who do have them. I know a termination is not a decision any woman or girl makes lightly. But I also know me, and after a hell of a lot of consideration, I know I’d regret it if I terminated this pregnancy.

And when I went to the grocery store to buy a carton of milk and some cereal and found myself wandering into the baby section, I stood there, staring at a tiny little onesie, and I knew what I was going to do.

I’m keeping this baby.

Holy fuck.

Deep down, I think a part of me knew all along. I’m terrified and excited, and I have a lot to sort out and plan. I have to figure out how to have a baby and continue earning my PhD. Also, my living arrangements aren’t ideal. I’m currently living in grad-school housing, which is a studio apartment and barely fits me,let alone me and a baby. But before I can tackle any of those issues, I have to tell Kaden.

I’m still suffering with morning sickness, and the thought of telling him makes me feel even sicker.

But I told myself that once I made my decision, I would tell him I was pregnant, and now is the time.

Which is why when I get up this morning to get ready to go to class, I decide I’ll go to Kaden’s apartment right after I’m done with classes and tell him that I am pregnant and keeping the baby. That there is absolutely no pressure from me. If he decides that he doesn’t want to be involved, then I will totally respect his decision.

Only problem is, I have no clue where he lives. I’ve never had a reason to go to his apartment.

Whenever I see him, it’s usually at Zeus’s house, when we all get together for dinner—or, you know, at Ares and Ari’s wedding, where I got knocked up.

I have a few choices as to who I can call to ask for his address. I could call Kaden, but he would know something was up the minute I asked, especially after the way I ended our last encounter, and this is not a conversation I want to have with him over the telephone. I want to talk to him face-to-face.

When I’m leaving my last class of the day, exiting the psychology building, I call Lo. As expected, he has no clue where Kaden lives. But he’s elated when I tell him that I’ve decided to keep the baby. He’s already a great uncle to Gigi and Thea, so I know my kid is going to get spoiled rotten by him.

So, that leaves Zeus or Cam. Ares might know his address too. But honestly, calling either of my brothers for Kaden’s home address is going to raise questions. I could make up some bullshit excuse as to why I needed it, but I honestly haven’t got the brain power right now to come up with anything.

Cam it is.

“Hey,” she answers on the second ring, sounding happy to hear from me.

We’ve texted back and forth this week, but this is the first time I’ve actually spoken to her since we had lunch.

“Hey. I need to ask for a small favor.” My throat is dry because I know my sister-in-law is astute, and the instant I ask for Kaden’s address, she’s going to connect those dots faster than the speed of light.

“Of course. Hit me with it.”

“I, um…” I shift on my feet. “Well…I, uh, need…Kaden’s address.”

Silence.

I moisten my lips and add, mostly to fill the quiet, “And I was hoping you would give me it.”

---