Page 20 of Risk

I’m erasing it. Never thinking of last night ever again.

SEVEN

“Thanks for coming with me and driving us here,” I tell Aaron as we pull up outside of Zeus’s house, where his thirtieth birthday party is being held.

My big brother is turning thirty. His actual birthday is tomorrow, and he’s spending the day with Cam and the girls, so his party is being held tonight.

Aaron is my good friend from my PhD course. I asked him to come with me because I didn’t want to come alone, and he was free because his boyfriend was out of town, visiting family.

Because Kaden is going to be here. I haven’t seen or heard from him in four weeks, ever sincethatnight. The night that I never think about.

And never talk about.

In the days following that night that never happened, my emotions bounced from hurt to angry, hurt again, and then anger. I considered calling him and giving him a piece of my mind, but I don’t chase any man, even if it is to verbally kick his ass, so that was off the table.

I did wonder if he would get in touch with me. Even maybe a text, saying,Can we keep what happened between us and not tell Zeus?

But nothing.

That note he left—with those wordsI’m sorry—is all I got.

Not that I would ever tell Zeus about me and Kaden. I haven’t told anyone that I slept with Kaden that night.

Aaron doesn’t know. He just thinks he’s coming with me because I was allowed a plus-one. Truth is, I asked Cam if I could bring someone with me because the thought of showing up here alone and seeing Kaden just made me feel shitty.

It’s not like I could tell Cam why I wanted to bring someone with me. Cam and I are close, but I wouldn’t put her in that position because I would not want her telling Zeus and it wouldn’t be fair to ask.

Hell, I’ve not even told Ari, who I’m closest to, and I tell her pretty much everything.

Not that I’m not close to Cam, but she lives out of the city, and I see more of Ari because she lives in the city.

I’ve kept that night to myself because of the obvious—Kaden being Zeus’s friend. Well, he’s a family friend really because he gets along well with Ares and Lo, too. But mostly because I’m embarrassed. I don’t want people knowing that he slept with me and then left while I was sleeping so he wouldn’t have to deal with me the morning after.

Aside from being hurt, I’m mortified beyond words.

I can’t believe I thought that us having sex would be the start of something between me and Kaden. It was fucking juvenile.

A thousand reasons as to why he disappeared on me have gone through my mind these four weeks. One that’s a recurring thought is that the sex wasn’t good for him. That I wasn’t good enough for him. Basically, the sex sucked, and he didn’t want a repeat and didn’t have the heart to tell me.

Yeah, the thought of that does not feel good at all.

Maybe I should have been truthful with Aaron and told him part of the reason I wanted him here was because I needed a buffer. I know that my whole family is going to be here.

And honestly, part of me—the hurt part of me, maybe the immature part of me—wanted to show Kaden that I didn’t care about him leaving me alone in that hotel. That it hadn’t affected me. That I’d moved on.

Even though I haven’t moved on and Aaron is only my friend and nothing more, Kaden doesn’t know that.

Also, there is the fear that he might show up with a date. Not that he’s ever brought a date to other functions we’ve attended, but there’s always a first time for everything.

Ugh, I’m awful. I’m kinda using Aaron, which is a crap thing to do. Even though he has no romantic inclination toward me at all and I enjoy hanging out with him, I’m being wholly untruthful as to why I invited him here tonight.

“Like I’m ever going to say no to a party,” Aaron says in response. “Especially not one that’s going to have all of your gorgeous brothers.”

“You know my brothers are all straight, and two out of three are taken.”

“I know. But a guy can window shop and dream.” He gives an exaggerated sigh. “And who knows? There might be some other single hottie here.”

I unclip my seat belt, reach over, and get Zeus’s gift out of the backseat. Then, I climb out of Aaron’s car.

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