Page 19 of Risk

I guess I have the answer as to what this was to him.

A one-night thing. But he didn’t even have the decency to stay to tell me that. He just fucking left. Snuck out while I was sleeping. Like I was something to be ashamed of.

I press a hand to my stomach. Turning back to the bed, I’m slammed with the memories of everything we did last night.

I glance at the side of the bed he slept in. Did he even sleep? Or did I assume he had? Did he wait until I’d fallen asleep, and then he got the hell out of Dodge?

The thought makes me feel dirty. Like everything we did last night was somehow wrong. But if it was right, then he wouldn’t have just left like that.

I sit down on the edge of the bed, feeling like shit and stupid. So damn stupid. I actually thought he liked me, but he just wanted to fuck me.

It just doesn’t make sense. He’s known me for years. I know how close he and Zeus are. He wouldn’t risk doing anything to wreck their friendship. Not that I intend on ever telling Zeus or anyone what happened between Kaden and me last night.

Clearly, he doesn’t want anyone to know.

So, why have sex with me? Why hold me and let me fall asleep in his arms if he never had any intention of doing anything more than sleeping with me one time?

I feel like such an idiot.

Tears sting my eyes. I press my palms to them to stop myself from crying. I will not cry over him.

He never promised me anything, I just hoped he would want that. But he also wasn’t clear on what this was. But then neither was I.

He wasn’t wrong in his behavior. I’m upset because I hoped for more. But that’s not on him. Maybe I should have told him before that one-night stands were not my thing. Not that I haven’t had hookups before, but the terms as to what it was were clearly set out, and even then, I still felt a little…lost—I guess that’s the right word—afterward.

Of course I like sex. I love sex, but I also like the feeling of knowing that the person I spent the night with is going to be there in the morning. And also come back the next night.

What hurts me is that he just upped and left in the middle of the night. Gathered up his clothes and snuck out of here, like I was some cheap hookup.

I deserved better than that. I’m not a random chick he picked up. I’m his best friend’s sister. I deserved to hear him say the words that last night was all it would ever be.

Would it have hurt? Stung? Of course. But I’m a big girl. I would have dealt with it.

But this…just feels shitty.

I feel small and idiotic for thinking this could have been more.

I tighten the covers around my naked body.

Thank God I never voiced my thoughts. At least my pride can remain somewhat intact.

My cell pings a notification, and that’s when I realize it’s on the nightstand. So is the room key card.

I dropped them on the floor when I foolishly got caught up with Kaden. He must have picked them up and put them here. Before he did a runner.

I grab my phone to check the time, and that’s when I notice the hotel notepad sitting beneath my phone. A pen next to it.

And two words are written on the paper.

I’m sorry.

He left a note, apologizing. Honestly, I don’t know if that’s worse or not.

Picking the notepad up, I look at his scrawl on it. For a moment, I feel sad. Then, I get angry.

I rip the paper from the pad. Screw it up into a ball and throw it in the direction of the trash can. Of course, I miss, and it hits the floor. So, I stomp over and pick it up, and with excessive force, I chuck it into the trash.

And I promise myself that’s exactly where the memory of what happened with Kaden is going. In the trash. The deleted files in my brain.

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