Page 83 of Deliverance

“I think you and I both know there is more to this than that.”

“Is there?” I challenge, doing my best to appear unaffected, unbothered.

My heart is hammering in my chest, maybe from anticipation, maybe fear. Maybe a whole mess of issues that a lifetime of therapy could never properly sort out.

The truth is, I did like Maryia. It sucked when she disappeared on me like that. I thought that maybe we could be something. I thought the same thing about Bridgette, though, and look where that got me. As much as I can’t stomach the idea, maybe Sky has it right with the whole four boyfriends thing. Or maybe it’s five now? I honestly can’t keep up. I mean, she seems happy. Those men would die for her at the drop of a hat. I can’t even get someone to be faithful to me or not run away when things get a little messy. Clearly, I need to take some lessons from my best friend. I just need it applied to women because one dick sounds like a nightmare, but five? I don’t know how that girl walks.

“Mags,” she says softly, hurt lacing her voice.

I’m not trying to hurt her, but I’m also not looking to get hurt. Haven’t I been on the losing end long enough? I’m over it.

“Look, I just…you walked away for a reason. You’re not ready for this or strong enough to endure or whatever, and that’s fine. That’s okay. You can’t just give me all the pretty words and bat your pretty fucking eyes at me and expect me to drop my entire guard. You can’t expect me to just start falling for you, never knowing when you’re going to bail,” I say.

Her lips mash together as she nods.

“You’re right.”

I am? I mean, yeah. I am.

“I’m not going to bail, though. Not again. I hooked up with you for the thrill. I won’t lie but…you wormed your way in here,” she says, resting her hand on her chest.

I frown at her. I mean, we only truly hooked up twice. I wouldn’t even call us together. We were so casual. It’s not like we were…

“I want you, Maggie, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove myself.”

“I—”

“Please,” she says as one of her hands reaches up and cups my face. “Please, I’m so sorry, Maggie. Give me another chance.”

I open my mouth to tell her it’s best if we forget everything when her lips are on mine. It catches me off guard for a moment, but feeling her soft lips shakes something inside me. I’m not sure if I lean in out of familiarity or maybe it’s just been too goddamn long since I’ve been with anyone. I find all my protests dying on my tongue, though, as I lean into the kiss.

Maryia’s tongue flicks out, wrapping around mine when a noise catches my attention from above us. My eyes open, and I look up to see a figure staring down at us from a bedroom window. Bridgette.

She’s frowning as she looks down at us, and don’t ask me why I do this next. I’m a petty fucking bitch who is still clearly hurt over finding her with Asher. Wrapping my arms around Maryia’s neck, I pull her closer to me, keeping my eyes on Bridgette as my tongue licks Maryia’s lips before tangling with her tongue once again.

Bridgette closes her eyes, shutting the curtains as the bedroom light shuts off. Why didn’t that make me feel as good as I thought it would? I thought it would almost feel like revenge, like I got the upper hand. A sickening feeling fills me, though, and I can’t help but pull away.

When I do, Maryia is breathless, grinning like she’s just been given a key to the goddamn world.

“Be with me, Maggie. Please,” she begs.

I glance up at the dark window for half a second before my eyes come back down to Maryia. This is no doubt so fucking stupid. It’s not like we could ever be together in the traditional sense. Hell, with Harry catching us, we can’t even hang out under the guise of friends. It makes literally no sense to pick Maryia out of anyone. One worse choice pops into my head, though, and I decide that I deserve a little bit of happiness in this life, no matter how fleeting it may be.

“Okay.”

Chapter Thirty

Bridgette

Maggie,

I saw you tonight, like a kid at the museum.

To always look but never touch.

It was a one way glass you couldn’t bother to notice.

Until you did.

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