Page 146 of Coco and the Misfits

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COCO

How did I get so lucky?

How is this my life now?

I feel like Alice in Wonderland, but I don’t want to find the way back. I like it here, with my lost and wild, tormented and sweet men.

I’ve been walking on clouds for the past few days. I know I need to eventually tell my parents about this new development, this new direction my life has taken, but not yet. It’s my secret, my joy, and I want to keep it to myself for a while longer.

If that means putting off the arguments about why this is a bad idea, my mom saying that this is me hiding from myself yet again, well… She will come around.

Once I introduce her to my pack, I’m sure she’ll understand.

Who wouldn’t?

My pack of alpha hunks.

Just call me Alice, okay?

We have been texting each other and meeting every evening in one apartment for dinner, cuddles and some pleasure. No actual sex has happened yet, I have to report, and that might be my fault. I’ve been… holding back a little. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that these amazing alphas accept me as I am, take me as an omega because I feel I am one, but that doesn’t mean…

Ahem.

That doesn’t mean I’m ready to be knotted.

I’ve talked to Gigi and surfed the internet, and I now know that it’s possible. Uncomfortable, painful, but some non-omegas like getting knotted.

Would I?

What if I hate it? What if I ruin this? What if they hate it? What if they change their minds again?

I’m just about run myself into the ground with overthinking.

Just do it, girl! Do it and you’ll know.

Pep talk doesn’t really work on me, by the way. Maybe some chocolate ice cream will do the trick… Atticus said he bought some for me and that’s where I’m heading now. It puts an extra spring in my step. The ice cream. But above all, the three alphas I’m heading toward.

About that… There has been some back and forth on where we could live together, but we all quickly agreed that Atticus’ apartment is the only one that’s large enough for all of us.

He said he’s already ordered an extra-extra-large pack bed for us. It’s supposed to arrive today and tonight we’re moving in with him. With each other.

Our first night as a pack. It’s getting serious.

Is that why I’m getting cold feet about the sex? I mean, I’m dying to bed them. Ha. Climb them. Ride them. Have actual sex with all three of them.

Intimidating as a thought.

Fucking hot as an image.

Panty-drenching as a real possibility.

I can’t wait, and yet it’s with trepidation that I walk up to the building where Atticus lives.

Because… what if nothing happens? They have been comfortable enough with one another to go down on me and touch me at the same time, but they have always been dressed, not touching between them.

They don’t seem to mind casual touching. But what about sex? Will we continue like this? Will we have set nights to be one-on-one? Is it going to be weird? I know they are doing this pack thing for me, and I’m so touched I can’t think about it without tearing up.