Page 62 of The Library at Hellebore
“You shouldn’t be with these people. It’s not safe,” she chided, slinking up to loop her arm through mine. “You should know better. Especially after—”
“Her jailbreak?” chirped Rowan, taking hold of my other arm. “Yes, that was definitely something. We should probably get Alessa home.”
All the warmth oozed out of Portia’s voice. “What wereyoudoing out here, anyway?”
“Enjoying the fresh air.”
“You know better.”
“I can neither confirm nor deny that remark.”
“We should probably get going…” Kevin announced but Gracelynn dug their feet in, mouthing at me,Do you need help?
The two descended into an argument conducted half in shorthand and half in choppy gestures.
Johanna sauntered up to Portia, as if she were a long-lost friend and this a pre-arranged meeting. “We werejusttelling Alessa how she needs to be more careful on these grounds!” She drove a shoulder into Rowan’s ribs, sweetly smiling throughout, charm laid on so thick, I could have scraped it off with a knife. “Hellebore will eat youaliveif you’re not careful,” chattered Johanna, writhing between Portia and me, something she accomplished only because Portia, I think, wasn’t expecting such an affront and because I wanted to escape this tug-of-war that Rowan and she had instigated.
“Leave me alone,” I hissed at Rowan, who now clutched at me with both gloved hands, his smile glassy and manic.
“Come on,” he said. “Johanna’s clearly freaking out.”
Had he said anything else, I might have gladly taken the excuse as an exit. Something about how Rowan spoke her name felt intolerably abrasive at that moment.
“I’m sure you can comfort her,” I said, shrugging loose of his grip. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and withdrew several steps backward. I didn’t like being touched even on the best of days and this certainly wasn’t one of them; it didn’t help that I was marinating in what felt treasonously like jealousy.
“—going to bite someone. I’mworried,” said Gracelynn from somewhere nearby.
“—still not our place to stop that?”
“—is too?!”
“Free will is a thing, Gracelynn.”
“I think Alessa and I might need somegirl time,” said Portia, the light catching strangely in her eyes, splintering into eighths for a second, except that wasn’t possible, at least I didn’t think so then.
I laughed at her use of the wordsgirl time,the phrase so out of place it seemed code for something else, and even as that thought surfaced, a pang of warmth filled me. I swallowed.
“Is that you want?” Rowan asked me, something wary in his eyes.
“Yes.”
“Well,” said Rowan after a moment, nothing like dejection in his face, mouth fluttering into a smile. You’d think we had choreographed this from his nonchalant tone, the absolute complicity in his voice. “Let us know when you’re done with your midnight rendezvous, huh?”
I didn’t answer as he slouched away, arms flung out to drape over Kevin and Gracelynn’s shoulders, who were caught out mid-argument and now were obligated to endure the rank overfamiliarity because politeness had been beaten into their very genetics.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” asked Johanna, faintly strangled, a last-ditch effort in extending a lifeline.
“Incredibly,” I said.
“Who wants to get some booze? Trick question.Everyonewants booze. Especially you,” said Rowan, hip-checking Kevin so hard they stumbled.
Like some mutant border collie, Rowan began herding them away, sparing one last look before rounding the corner, worry in his eyes and something else, something like injury.
Portia and I said nothing to each other until the sounds of the four arguing trickled away, and the world was silent save for insect night-song and the waking verses of the first stirring birds. A little too late, I thought about calling out to them and as if she knew, Portia set a cold white hand on my wrist. I heard a creak of wood. I looked up then at the windows above us, and though perhaps it should have, it did not surprise me to see a light begin to grow there, begin to move; the glow the sickly yellow of old lymph.
“What you did was stupid,” she said without preamble.
I shrugged.
