Page 93 of Can't Take My Eyes Off You

‘Why?’ Berkley asks.

‘DNA sample, anyone?’ He stares at us, his arrogance fading as he notices how upset I am.

I lean forward, inspecting what he’s displaying before my face. ‘You ripped out the man’s hair?’

He nods proudly. ‘I prefer low-key violence to asking him to power-wank into a cup,’ he says with a shiver. ‘Listen, I’m a dick.’

Berkley and I both laugh.

He lowers his chin. ‘I’m possibly the worst older brother in the history of brothers. I mean, if you don’t count biblical brothers. That said, I saw the look on your face just now when he made his pissed-off announcement, and even you didn’t deserve that. Take this and get a DNA test. Maybe you’ll get lucky, and you’re reallynotthe Adler you never wanted to be. Perhaps you’re one of those babies kidnapped at birth and this will eventually make a great Lifetime movie.’

I cock my head, rolling my eyes, but at this point I wouldn’t put anything past my mother.

‘Why would you volunteer to help me? I thought you hated me?’

‘When you’re unnecessarily sleeping in a bookstore listening to your little brother have loud sex, you’ve got some time to think.’

‘Unnecessarily?’ Berkley asks.

Mike smirks. ‘I’m notexactlyin their situation.’ He lifts both shoulders to his ears guiltily. ‘I suspect you aren’t either? They might be terrible parents but they didn’t raise idiots.’

‘Youhavemoney?’ Berkley asks. ‘And you’re just—’

‘Lying?’ Mike laughs. ‘Yeah, I’m an Adler, remember? Lying is my game. I can’t tell them; Jesus, they’d milk me dry if they knew. Plus, I was living at their place when all this went down and didn’t have a place to go and figured why waste money on a hotel if it’s not necessary? I tend to overspend on ridiculous shit, and don’t exactly have a job right now thanks to someone insisting he get sober to get laid – so here I am, becoming a tight-ass.’

I stare at my smarmy brother, trying to process all this. He’s lying about being broke and sleeping on an uncomfortable pull-out bed just to save some money? Isn’t it just like him to play this out until he can figure out how best to use it to his advantage.

‘Well?’ he asks. ‘You gonna come clean?’

He’s right, he’s a dick, yes, but like he said, he’s not a total idiot.

‘Fine,’ I admit. ‘I’m not broke. But I’m also not giving them a penny and I refuse to let Berkley waste money on them either. So, now what?’

After I’ve gathered my father’s hair sample from Mike, he shoves his hands into his pockets, now leaning against the side of the building, looking down at us. ‘I honestly don’t know. If Berx wants to torment them for a while, God knows they deserve it. They’ve spent a lot of time making her miserable.’

‘They?’ she asks, standing from the sidewalk and shooting daggers his way.

‘Me too,’ he says flatly. ‘I’m sure I owe you an apology, but none of this is really me, so give me a bit, would ya? I just learned my parents have been lying to me since Will was born. One life lesson at a time, please.’

‘Wait,’ I say, trying to get up off the ground but my back isn’t cooperating and Berkley notices. She extends both hands to me, in an assist to pull me up.

‘You have to go have your back checked out,’ she says with worry.

‘I’ll be alright,’ I insist, before turning my attention to Mike. ‘You really knew none of this?’

Mikey shakes his head slowly. ‘No idea. Though it’s now making sense of why he’s always told me how much better than you I am.’

‘Hetoldyou that?’

‘Oh yeah,’ he confirms. ‘He’d badmouth the hell out of you and convince me all of it was true. I’m starting to see that maybe he was lying. Did he really threaten to fire Sylv because you called her “Mom”? Because let’s face it, Sylviaisour mom.’

I nod. ‘She was helping me with homework, and the word just slipped out. Mom overheard it and practically jerked my arm from the socket when she dragged me to my room to wait for Dad. After he lectured the hell out of me and threatened to fire her, he then made sure I understood to never make the mistake again,or else. Who throws anor elseat a six-year-old?’

I never told Berkley this story. It always felt too humiliating. I was a rich kid who was constantly told how ‘blessed’ I was but I felt lost. I had no idea why I had to act a certain way, kissing people’s asses from a young age. Neither of my parents acted like they loved me so I sincerely thought of my nanny as my mom. Sylvia, who doted over me and made a big deal about coming in second at a grade-school science fair. She said it meant I had room to grow and growing smarter was never a bad thing. My actual mother told me only first place is the winner, everyone else is a loser, and wanted to know what I’d do next time to make sure I wasn’t a loser. She’d be proud when I brought home the winner’s trophy and only then. Her actual words. Until recently, I didn’t realize how much damage some of this stuff did. I’ve worked through a lot of it in rehab during counseling sessions but this is brand new information and I’m not sure how to accept it or move past it.

Mike’s face is scrunched, and honestly, this is the first time I’ve ever seen him be this human. I’m truly shocked. I didn’t think demons had souls.

‘Assholes do that,’ Mike says. ‘I’m not a father – here’s hoping I never am – but even I know that’s not right. I always knew things were different between us in his eyes but never saw through it until today. I guess that makes me a bigger dick than I thought, eh?’ He laughs.

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