Page 79 of Can't Take My Eyes Off You

‘You actually went out with me to have sex with me and get back at Will?’ I mean, I know I’ve pretty much done the same thing but how did I have no idea about his reasoning?

He nods proudly. ‘You’re totally worth it. Top three for me. And I’ve slept with a lot of women.’

I burst out a laugh, the two of us now stopping in front of the bookstore entrance.

‘Why’s that funny?’

‘Well,’ I say calmly. ‘It’s funny because you think I’m insecure about my skills in the bedroom. Like being in Alex Donovan’s top three lays is some kind of medal I should wear with pride. I’ve literally only slept with two people and you’re not even in the top three. A little advice: you could use some lessons.’

‘Me?’ He balks like it’s not possible.

‘How has no one told you this before?’ I ask myself. ‘There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to tear off the Band-Aid so to speak. The clitoris is the gatekeeper of the orgasm. It’s that tiny button at the front of the vagina.I hope you find it one day!’

He pulls his head back like I’ve deeply offended him. ‘Whatare you even talking about? You loved it. I was there,remember?’

‘Oh, I remember,’ I say with a judgmental laugh. ‘But not the way you do. I fakedallthose orgasms. That one, and that one, oh and that one over there too!’ I point around the hallway like orgasms are raining down around us. Not that he’d ever notice. ‘You might be a natural at kicking a ball, but the art of the orgasm has evaded you!’

‘Shut up.’ He groans, turning towards the store side exit.

‘Want me to prove it?’

An irritated laugh leaves his lips as he turns back towards me. ‘How are you going to prove that?’

I clear my throat, ready to put on a show of a lifetime.

‘Oh, Alex. Yeah, baby. Right there.’ I moan his name, getting a little bit louder with every word. ‘Oh, God. Fuck, yeah. Keep going. That’s it. Don’t stop. Harder, Alex, harder.’

His eyes widen, and his jaw drops a little further with each cry of fake ecstasy.

‘Yes. Yes. Fuck, yes, Alex! Holy hell, that’s it, babe. Don’t stop. Oh my God. Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!’ I yell and dramatically go on just like I do when I’m lying underneath him, even the out-of-breath part.

‘Are.You.Fucking.Kidding.Me!?’ He says the words so slowly I wonder if he’ll ever finish his sentence.

The shock on his face feels good. I think I’ve just changed this guy’s life. Or at least inspired him to do a little research, so the next woman he touches doesn’t walk away wondering how God keeps screwing up these overly beautiful men.

‘Say one word about me to any tabloid, and the whole world finds out,’ I say, walking his way, shoving him out the door and grabbing the pizza box from his hands before he can object. ‘Bye, Alex.’

The door slams shut behind him and I turn to go back to my apartment, but the sound of clapping stops me in my tracks. I glance into the semi-dark bookstore and see Mike giving me a standing ovation. My heart seizes in my chest.

‘I forgot you people were here.’ I drop my head. Mortification activated. Come on, sinkhole. Just swallow the whole damn store, would ya?

28

WILL

‘What are you people doing here?’ I ask my family, whose heads are all turned to hear Berkley and Alex fighting as they walk away.

‘Marcus is in some trouble,’ Dad says.

Marcus is their financial adviser.

‘What does that have to do with me or Berkley?’

‘He’s been arrested, and raided, then the IRS showed up at the house this afternoon. They’re seizing everything. Our cars, the house and everything inside, our vacation homes, our bank accounts…’ Mom says, her voice quivering with emotion as she speaks.

The IRS is seizing their shit? I want to say I’m surprised but this feels a little more karma than ‘oh no’. My parents are the royalty of fucking over everyone around them. I just fought to practically financial death to buy this bookstore that they wanted just to screw me over. Their son. Finally someone is taking revenge and it’s the one organization that has the power to do so.

‘If Marcus is to blame, why are they seizing your things?’

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