Page 67 of Can't Take My Eyes Off You

She takes her time brushing her teeth, then stripping her clothes off in a striptease I didn’t ask for but that I can’t physically turn away from, so I don’t doubt she’ll regret making this such a show tomorrow. Once she’s in one of my old T-shirts and a pair of skimpy panties – I try not to look directly at her for fear it’ll prove my thoughts aren’t entirely innocent when it comes to her – she climbs into bed.

I grab the trash can from her bathroom and a water from her fridge, sitting them near her, just in case. Her eyes are closed as I kneel bedside her to say goodbye, so instead, I brush her hair from her face and press my lips to her forehead. The smell of her vanilla shampoo reminds me of the old us.

‘Goodnight, Berx. We’ll talk tomorrow.’ I stand to walk away, but she grabs my hand before I can.

‘Will?’

Hearing her sweet voice again tears at my chest. I want to make every way I’ve wronged her right.

‘Yeah?’

‘Do youhaveto go?’

‘You said no Williams of any variety were allowed in your room, so I’d guess yes?’

She laughs drunkenly. ‘Like you ever followed the rules. I’m drunk, Will, and I’m never drunk. I don’t want to be alone.’

My heart stumbles through my chest. I fully expected her to hate me with the fire of a thousand suns. Or, in her words, the venom of a thousand cobras. I’ve earned it. I absolutely will not be surprised when she wakes up tomorrow back to feeling precisely that. But I can’t say no to her right now when I’m here to win her back. Leaving when she wants me to stay might worsen things, and I can’t risk that.

‘Are you sure? I don’t know that Alex will be pleased with me staying the night. He wasn’t overly happy with you in my lap earlier.’

‘Alex and I aren’t evenreallya thing anymore. We’re just fuck-bud—UGH,’ she groans. ‘You weren’t supposed to know that so pretend I didn’t just say it.’

‘What if he shows up here while I’m here?’

‘He’d have to call first because he’s got no access to the building like you always have.’

Wow. They’ve been off and on for how long, and he can’t get into the building without permission. That makes me feel a little better.

‘Fuck Alex, anyway,’ she half slurs. ‘He left when I was in crisis earlier. Plus I’m pretty sure he’s just with me to get laid. But you always knew how to…’ She stops, finally opening her eyes, looking up at me, adjusting her hand in mine but never letting go. ‘You always knew how to make me feel better. Please, stay?’ She pats the other side of her bed.

‘In your bed?’ I ask, making certain she understands what she’s asking.

‘This is totally stupid and if you tell anyone I let you in this easy I’ll – I don’t know – I just, maybe you could stay and hold me. Like you used to?’

She wants me to hold her like I used to? Maybe now’s not the time to play the gentleman? Like being respectful of whatever she and Alex have going on will get me where I want to be. Cole’s words play in my head.You gonna wait until she’s completely unavailable?No.

‘Sure, Berx. I’ll stay. Let me just turn off the lights and lock up.’

I don’t want to say I’m giddy as I lock her front door, flipping off the lamps, before heading back to her room but I absolutely am. She’s asking me to stay here. Please, let this be a good sign.

I slip off my shoes, emptying my pockets onto her dresser, then crawl into her bed next to her fully clothed, lying flat on my back, almost afraid to touch her. She’s got no such fear as she eases herself into my side, resting her head on my chest, her hand on my stomach. I hold her – like I used to, finally feeling complete again.

‘I shouldn’t tell you this, but I missed yousomuch.’ Her voice wavers. She must not remember saying this multiple times already. She’s too fucking adorable.

‘I missed you too, baby. More than words can describe.’

24

WILL

I slept in her bed last night. Clothed and not one time did I try to kiss her or do anything to make her uncomfortable. We didn’t even really talk much, but we also hardly slept; we just existed in the same space and I held her like she asked. It was literally – and this is no lie – thebestnight of my life.

Considering I’ve been a nervous wreck over all this for months, and sleeping at rehab was impossible with all the thoughts running through my head, I probably could have slept last night. But I didn’t let myself because, at some point, I realized she may wake up feeling completely different than her tipsy self did last night. No way did I want to tempt the airplane nightmare back.

It’s now eight in the morning, and I got up an hour ago. I’ve showered and I’m wearing yesterday’s clothes still, standing at her stove, barefoot, making her breakfast while she sleeps. I had to dosomething. I don’t know what her reaction to me will be so if last night is the last time I’ll ever hold her, I want to remember every second and at leasttryto unsink this ship.

Her stumbling out of bed is what pulls me from my head. I turn on one heel and walk to her doorway, glancing at her now steadying herself, one hand on her dresser and the other on her head.

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