Page 11 of Can't Take My Eyes Off You

‘Good luck, Adler.’ Her voice is small and soft as she says it and I know she’s fighting back emotions she doesn’t want me to see. Her calling me by my last name is never good either.

‘Don’t go like this, Berx.’

‘I sincerely hope it’s everything you’re expecting.’ Her eyes glaze over with tears and even though she’s doing her best to hold them back, she can’t and before I know it she’s got a hand over her face, covering a sob.

I am anasshole. My heart. Jesus. If it stopped right now, it would feel better than this. How could I hurt someone I love this much?

When she grabs the door handle, I panic. This can’t be the last time I ever see her.Do something, Will. Don’t let her leave thinking you don’t love her.

Before she can get out, I slide my hand around the back of her neck and pull her to me, kissing her with everything I’ve got. To my surprise, she kisses me back without hesitation, almost desperately, like this might be our last. Her hand moves to the side of my face, sending clouds of butterflies through my chest. There’s no way someone else could cause every nerve in my body to jump to life when they touch me like she does. I can’t lose her.

After an unexpected make-out session, she pushes me away, gripping my shirt momentarily before she wipes her lips with her thumb like she’s attempting to wipe me away.

‘I know you’re mad. Break up with me if you need to; this is my fault, and I deserve it, but I can’t just quit loving you. Ever. I don’t want to know what life’s like without you, Berx. I know the show seems crazy and shallow as fuck, but I did it for us. I’ll make my own money, to get my parents off my back and I’ll do whatever I can to prove that I still want everything we’ve planned for our life together. I just need to do this, for me. I can’t live under their rules our whole life. But I promise, baby, I adore everything about you; hand to God, you’re the only woman for me.’

She softens a bit as she stares into my eyes. ‘We’ll see,’ she says, disheartened. After a moment, she hops out of my Jeep, slamming the door shut behind her.

With every step away from me she takes without looking back, my heart sinks slowly through my chest like an anchor thrown off a ship to the bottom of the ocean. Water may as well be filling my lungs as I feel like I can’t breathe. I sit in the parking lot even after she disappears into her apartment, phone in my hands as I try and think of anything I can say to save this. But she’s right. There are no words. I toss the phone onto the passenger seat and pull away from her building. I fucked up big.

4

WILL

I’ve been lying here for two weeks unless I have to use the bathroom, eat or get another beer. My phone is next to me, the volume as high as it goes, wishing Berkley would just call me back. She would hardly even talk to me when I showed up at her graduation last weekend. Just took a couple photos with me and then asked me to leave. Like a sword to my heart and I plunged it into my chest all on my own.

The door to my room swings open suddenly. ‘Dude.’ Bryce, my best friend and roommate, walks in, yanking open the curtains, allowing the sun to assault my vision that’s now adapted to the dark cave I’m wallowing in. ‘You still alive, man?’

‘Unfortunately.’

‘Mikey’s here.’

‘Uggghhhh,’ I groan.

Mike here is just adding salt to the wound, considering his big mouth is part of why I’m in this mess. Had he not helped break the news the way he did, maybe I could have saved myself. Who knows? What I do know is that it’s always about Mike when he’s around. The man can do no wrong in our parents’ eyes, and I can do no right. We aren’t exactly friends. Brothers yes, buddies no.

‘Mike can fuck off.’

Bryce laughs. ‘Already told him, but I get the feeling he ain’t going away until you talk to him.’

‘Wil-ly!’ Mike bellows as he invites himself into my room, a beer in his hand. ‘This is good,’ he says, inspecting the can. ‘What is it?’

‘Uh,notyours?’ Bryce answers with attitude.

They aren’t friends. Mike doesn’t have many friends so he claims mine by default of being my brother. He goes through ‘friends’ like no one I’ve ever witnessed. Using them until there’s nothing left in it for him, then ghosts them – super stand-up guy.

I roll onto my stomach, pulling the comforter over my head. ‘Go away, ass-face.’

‘If you don’t get out of this bed, the network will cancel the show.’

‘Boo-fucking-hoo.’

‘You were excited about this until Berkley told you not to be. The whole world will laugh at you if you don’t lose the pussy-whipped thing.’ He steps onto my bed, jumping up and down to annoy me. ‘Come on, Willy. You were supposed to move in two days ago. Stop being a heartsick baby. She didn’t die. You’re not in mourning.’

‘I am too.’

‘Getup, turdpipe.’ He throws a pillow at my head, slowly getting more aggressive – a reminder of our childhood. He would demand I do something, I’d tell him to fuck off, then he’d attempt to beat the hell out of me. Round and round we’d go. ‘We start filming in two days.’

‘Leave.’

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